


Crossing Paths And Entangled Lives

by chan_to_the_ho (curseofpandora)



Category: 2PM (Band)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, Unreal2PM writing challenge, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 23:07:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 32,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4980169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curseofpandora/pseuds/chan_to_the_ho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During our lifetime, we cross the paths of many other people.</p><p>One day, we may realise that there were consequences to certain meetings.</p><p>Others, however, may turn out to be no more than passing acquaintances.</p><p>Only the future will show which was which, so we just have to keep on living to find out.</p><p>❈❈❈</p><p>This story centers around a group of friends as they get onto the rollercoaster that is life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of Kinks And Rings And Other Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompts I had to use for this one were the following:
> 
> Prompt 1 - a line from a book or song:
> 
> And if I suddenly went blind, would you still look in my eyes? What happens when I grow old and all my stories have been told? Will your heart still race for me? Or will it march to a new beat?
> 
> Prompt 2 - a picture:
> 
> <http://25.media.tumblr.com/8bafe5b3fd5ae21515c3a77e6196d4f1/tumblr_mox95aO9PN1qez43mo1_500.jpg>
> 
> Prompt 3 - a theme:
> 
> Strength

There’s this funny little thing called love. It’s hard to find and even harder to let go.

You never know when it hits you and you never know how long it might stay.

She’s truly a fickle bitch, this love, but still worth all the pain and pleasure she brings into your life.

If you’re lucky, you’ll really fall in love with someone during your lifetime. Maybe you end up marrying them, maybe you will split at some point. You can’t predict how things will develop.

I was lucky enough to meet my special someone very early. We started out as childhood friends from the same neighbourhood. Our parents were friends before we were born, so we practically grew up together.

We shared our toys and clothes, took our first steps together, had our first deep conversation at age one and a half.

It was about a teddy bear of his that I never wanted to let go of when he brought it along.

I still remember his annoyed face, when I refused to give it back to him.

And he mumbled angrily at me until our parents separated us and gave him the bear back.

Needless to say that I didn’t like that at all. And so I let them know about it. Crying like the baby I was back then.

On my next birthday, I got a similar bear from him, but I refused to accept this new bear. It wasn’t his and his bear was all I wanted.

He had always been the more peaceful one of us, so eventually he handed me his own bear and took the one he had planned to give me as a present instead.

I was the happiest boy on the planet that day. Ever since then, Chanbear had kept me company, when my real Channie had gone home to sleep or do his homework later on.

Looking back to these days, I can honestly say that I've been very attached to Chansung right from the start.

He had always been my best friend, confidant, partner in crime and somewhat of a brother I never had. He was my personal support system, my strength.

Our interests were very similar and he was the one who kept me grounded when I reached too high. He was there for me whenever I got into trouble and tended to my wounds when I got hurt.

And I had a tendency to get hurt easily, because I was a reckless child, never really caring about what might happen, just plunging into the unknown depths.

Thank goodness he was more cautious and always kept an eye on me. He watched out for me and rushed to my defense when I had been too much of a hothead and pissed off the older boys at school.

Chan had saved me countless times, yet he never complained about getting hurt in the process. He was always more worried about my well-being and I never really appreciated that until the day he got hurt really badly and ended up in the hospital.

I had been snappy to one of our classmates again and we had ended up fighting each other close to the stairs. When Chan had seen this from afar, he had rushed to my aid and our classmate had accidently pushed him too harshly, making him stumble and fall down the stairs.

When he woke up in the hospital bed, I had cried myself to sleep on the chair next to it. I had held his hand all afternoon, cursing my recklessness for putting him in this situation.

But he wasn’t even angry with me. Just happy that I hadn’t gotten hurt. That’s how he always had been, my silly Chansung.

Our parents had promised to give both of us a wonderful surprise the day he left the hospital. So he was back to full health in no time, cheered on by me, who was extremely curious, but infinitely more interested in seeing him back to normal as soon as possible.

Life was no fun during the weeks he spent apart from me, waiting for his leg to heal. I finally learnt how much energy it takes to always watch out for someone dear because I had to be the one to give him strength for once.

But I had him back one day, swearing to myself that I would never let him get in harm’s way again.

Our parents had rented a small house in the countryside for a week during the summer holidays. We went there together, expecting the usual boredom because we were boys from the city and the countryside didn’t seem very thrilling at first.

Well, that was until we laid eyes on the awesome treehouse Chan and I were expected to stay in while our parents would move into the certainly less amazing main house.

Of course, being a treehouse it didn’t have a toilet and everything, but we spent most of our time up in the branches, enjoying the view and each other’s company, talking about everything and nothing, or simply staring at the clouds that passed by, trying to spot shapes in them.

It was during one of these times when we lay on our backs and stared up into the sky when Chan said the words that would change our whole friendship irrevocably.

“Junho?”

I only hummed in response.

“I really missed you during the last weeks…”

I grinned and threw a glimpse at him. “I visited you daily, Chan. How could you miss me that much?”

His brows were knitted in irritation, and that’s when I knew he was serious. “I mean it, Junho. I had a lot of time to think about this. I didn’t just miss having your annoying butt around, but I really missed the certainty of being able to see you whenever I feel like it. It made me go insane not to know if you were staying out of trouble and eating enough… You know how forgetful you can be when you focus on certain things too much…”

I raised my eyebrow in confusion, looking at him questioningly. “So what exactly do you want to tell me, Chansung?”

He huffed and remained silent for a few minutes, surely aware of my inquisitive stare, but not willing to elaborate the topic any further for the moment.

Eventually, I gave up on getting an answer by staring him down and continued to follow the clouds with my eyes.

I didn’t look at him when he said: “I think I like you, Junho.”

The words hung in the air for a while, an echo of them reverberating inside of my head. I didn’t want to believe my ears, couldn’t stop my heartbeat from picking up in speed. My hands curled into fists to keep calm, but it wouldn’t help.

He couldn’t mean it like that, could he? I had to make sure without revealing too much of my own feelings, in case he didn’t mean it like this.

“I like you too, Channie. You’re my best friend after all…”

He groaned angrily, suddenly sitting up and staring down at me. I could see he was pissed by my words, but I wasn’t really sure why exactly.

“I don’t mean it in the best friends way of liking someone.”

Another silence that was too long to be comfortable, me staring up at him in shock, him staring down at me in complete helplessness.

“Why are you so dense sometimes, Junho?”

“Yah! I’m not dense…” I tried to defend myself weakly.

He looked back into the sky then, speaking less resolute. “Then why can’t you get what I’m trying to say, you pabo?”

Normally I would have given him a playful beating for speaking to me like this, but I couldn’t do it at that moment. Instead I sat up, too, putting my chin on his shoulder.

I had expected for him to turn his head, but he didn’t, so I stroked along his lower arm gently.

“Channie…” It was a smooth sound, intended to lure him back into a state of peacefulness. And it worked because he sighed deeply, his body no longer tense but relaxed, before he turned his head towards me, looking into my eyes directly.

“What, Junho? What else am I supposed to do to make you realise the nature of my feelings for you?”

I stubbed the tip of his nose with mine, my eyes focused on his lips for a second, before they looked back into his eyes.

“Just kiss me…” was all I said before I brushed my lips against his.

He didn’t respond at first, probably shocked by my sudden action, but when I smiled and whispered against his lips, he finally broke out of his stupor.

“Hey, don’t let me do all the work…”

His hand was at my neck a second later, his fingertips running through my hair lovingly, while he smiled against my lips.

“In case you still need me to say it out loud: I like you too, Chansung-ah.”

My confession sent tiny sparks of electricity through both our bodies with each word that I whispered against the soft skin of his lips.

Lips that tasted of banana and home, lips that I would never grow tired of kissing.

His smile turned even brighter before he shifted his position a little, so he could embrace me in his typical bear hug way. Then he buried his face in the crook of my neck and chuckled happily.

I couldn’t help but do the same, exhilarated by the sensation of our kiss and my brain clouded by the lack of oxygen. We stayed in this position for a while, our thoughts running wild, but probably into similar directions.

Initially, it was meant to remain a secret between us, since we weren’t sure about what label to put onto this newfound bond.

Well, to be honest, neither of us had ever wondered about our sexualities, so the topic had never really come up when talking to our mums and dads. But during the week we spent in the countryside, Chan’s dad came over to call us for dinner one evening and caught us kissing.

“Channie, Nuneo, dinner is ready… Oh, sorry. Just come over, whenever you feel like it, boys...”

He seemed a little surprised about finding his son kissing his supposedly best friend, so I tried to come up with a good explanation for the scene.

To no one’s surpriseI failed, my brain still being everywhere, but with me.

“Eh, Mr. Hwang, it’s not what it looks like…”

But Chan interrupted me and stared right into his dad’s eyes defiantly. “Ignore him, dad. It is exactly what it looks like. He’s my boyfriend.”

I couldn’t help but grin stupidly at the way Chan spoke in a dead serious tone. Somehow he managed to look confident despite his utterly dishevelled hair and clothes.

Hwang senior and junior gazed at each other with serious faces in what I’d describe as a silent battle for superiority. And then there was I, being so snogged out of my wits that it took me forever until the actual meaning of Chan’s words had sunk in.

My chin literally dropped and I gaped at him for a few seconds, unable to form a meaningful sentence.

“I’m your boyfriend? Really?” I held onto his hand tightly, making him turn around to throw me an irritated look, complete with raised eyebrow and everything.

“Of course you are, Junho. Who else should be the one?”

He shook his head a little, obviously unable to understand my doubts before he turned to his father again. “Anyway, Dad, Junho and I are together now. And there is nothing you can do to change that.”

His dad started to laugh his booming laughter then, patting his son on the shoulder. “Is he even aware of that, son?”

Nodding fervently, I complained: “Yeah… Why am I not aware of this? When did you intend to tell me I’m your boyfriend, Hwang?”

Chan turned around, giving me THE look. “Are you serious?”

I pouted at him the way I usually did when I didn’t want to admit I might be the one in the wrong.

He wanted to facepalm so hard at that moment, I could literally feel it in the air. So he started to growl at me, his voice low and too sexy to ignore: “Lee Junho, do you honestly think I would…”

Suddenly Chan remembered his father’s presence, throwing a quick glance in his direction, before he continued explaining to me in a more neutral tone: “... do these things with you, unless I considered you my boyfriend?”

Silence was all there was for a while; I pouted, Chan glared at me, and his dad followed the exchange with a tiny smile lighting up his features.

If anything, I pouted even more, because I knew Chansung was right about what he had said but refused to give in to him.

That’s when his dad cleared his throat, catching our attention once again.

“You two are so precious… Honestly speaking, we had our suspicions already. It was part of the reason, why we decided to go here and give you two lovebirds some time for yourselves. So don’t worry, we have nothing against this.”

He beamed at us and focused his eyes on me then, giving me a big smile. “I’m really glad he chose you, Junho. Promise me to take good care of my son when the time comes, okay? I trust you to only want the best for him as much as we do.”

Chan just rolled his eyes, squeezing my hand lightly. “Dad, you’re not giving him my hand in marriage yet. Stop being so silly…”

I was honestly amused by the exchange between them. But Chan’s wording had made me curious. “Yet? Do you intend to marry me one day then?”

Mr. Hwang laughed about this loudly, but I glimpsed at Chan’s blushing face excitedly. He facepalmed and looked away then. “Seriously, not you too, Junho. Can we just be hormone driven teenagers for now? We’re fourteen for goodness’ sake. I’m not ready to think about marriage…”

Needless to say that whenever Chan and I were in the same place with them or tried not to act like a couple around our parents, they ended up having the time of their lives and us boys turned into tomatoes sooner or later.

But I had to thank them in secret because Chan was in a constant state of being annoyed by their teasing and that led to lots of passionate make-out sessions for me.

Our parents never really let go of it, but as we grew up their teasing got less annoying and turned into downright love for their second sons. They called us either that or their sons-in-law, depending on their mood and Chan and I had given up on trying to change that.

We never really hid our relationship in school, but we didn’t exactly make it public either since sadly not everyone was as accepting of two boys liking each other as our parents were.

So I had to put up with an immense amount of jealousy over how flirtatious most of the girls our age were when it came to my boyfriend. They seemed to think that just because no one had officially claimed him yet, they were allowed to hunt him down whenever they felt like it.

And it’s not like Chan had asked me not to say anything, but I didn’t want our relationship to be a burden to either one of us.

Whenever the topic came up, he told me to do what I deemed best, but I had decided to trust him and believe in the strength of our bond and to not say anything to anyone outside of our close circle of friends.

That was until a group of girls cornered me one day in a remote part of the schoolyard.

“You think you’re the greatest guy around, don’t you, Lee? That must be the reason why you think it’s okay for you to hog Chansungie’s attention all the time…”

I looked at their supposed leader with a raised eyebrow. “You know, I value myself, but I would never think about myself in such a way. The reason why I spend so much time with him is none other than…”

That’s when I spotted him walking towards us with worry written on his face. But I only beamed at him over the heads of the girls, before I looked back at them, malicious satisfaction written on my face.

“It’s because he is my fucking boyfriend, you nutcases. And he is mine alone, so get the fuck away from him, before I start to consider you a serious threat. Because then I won’t let you off easily…”

I stared at each and every one of them until they averted their gaze and started to dissolve the gathering. Just to piss them off some more, I practically jumped Chan and stole a deep kiss from him. I heard some ‘ew’ and ‘gross’ from the girls, but it was the sweet music of victory to my ears, since I was finally able to reveal to the world how much I actually cared about this boy.

Chan was mildly irritated at most, but he responded as usual, pulling me even closer and making me feel like I was the only one in the world for him. During these few moments, we both got a glimpse of what eternal bliss might feel like.

Ever since this day, our circle of friends had shrunk a little, some people no longer interested in our company. But those who really mattered had already known about our relationship and stood by our side through the good and bad times.

They were also the ones who gave us strength and supported our relationship when we finished school and went to university.

The years there were hard on us because we majored in different subjects and only saw each other very rarely. We had moved into an apartment together, but since Chan was very focused on his studies and still very eager on continuing his Taekwondo and Kumdo, he spent most of the time someplace else.It didn’t exactly help that I had joined a band and we were practicing a lot when we weren’t composing or going out for open mic nights.

Of course, I tried to cheer for Chan in all his tournaments or during his exams, but it was hardly possible. Same as it was close to impossible for him to attend all my important contests and such, but both of us tried very hard.

Still, we felt how we drifted apart further and further with each day that passed.

It led to snappy reactions on my part and general brooding from Chan.

And I had learnt that this deeply hidden anger of his was dangerous. I had witnessed it being unleashed more than once, thank goodness never directed at me. But I was certain that this time I’d be the one who’d have to face it.

He was unhappy about the way our relationship was at that time. Well, don’t get me wrong, so was I, but he had always been very clear about his intentions with me.

Me, on the other hand… I was never good at putting a label on it. I was happy to have him around and to know he belonged to me in some way.  But that was it.

I didn’t exactly feel the need to label us as boyfriends or married couple or whatever.

But he did, and this whole issue was just one of many that accumulated over time. He had trouble following my excited blubbering about band practice and whatever new shenanigans my bandmates had come up with.

And the same thing happened to me whenever he talked about his studies and sports. It was interesting, don’t get me wrong, but my brain was hardly capable of following his discourses and that led to him being angry at me to a point where he stopped talking about these things in my presence altogether.

I was less than happy about this too. But I figured it might be better for our relationship that way.

What pissed me off massively, though, was when he started tutoring this guy who was in some of his courses. I had never liked that guy to begin with. Something about him seemed off to me. I knew he was trouble when he walked into our lives.

But I had no idea how much of a threat he posed to Chan and I as a couple.

Initially, the tutoring session happened in the library on the campus, but a month in, Chan had asked his student to come to our place, since it was more convenient for him.

I wasn’t present most of the time, but when I got home earlier from my practice one day, I noticed how touchy the guy was. He sat unnecessarily close to my boyfriend and scooted even closer when he asked Chan to explain things more thoroughly.

I seethed in silence for a while, finishing my practices earlier on the days for when their tutor sessions were scheduled. I did it on purpose to keep an eye on this guy.

Because while I trusted Chansung entirely, I didn’t trust this little shit at all. He was far too smooth and flirtatious for my taste. I could spot his interest in my boyfriend from 10 kilometres away and what annoyed me most was Chan’s utter oblivion about it.

He was blind to it and while that was generally a good sign, it didn’t exactly help with my possessiveness. I could only tolerate so much fawning over what was mine, and this student of his had surpassed that level by far.

So I had two options left. Talking to Chan and hoping he would realise about the problem and do something to change the situation, or showing this little wannabe who this man really belonged to.

I settled for the latter, waiting for a moment when Chan had gone to the bathroom, to walk over to his student and lean against the sofa casually.

“Busy night, eh?”

He looked up at me, irritation on his face. “Yeah…”

My gaze turned more hostile, as did the tone of my voice. “I see what you’re doing here. There’s no point in denying it. But your attempts are futile. He is mine. So keep your hands to yourself and I will let him continue giving you lessons…”

A short unamused laughter came in response and he had the audacity of sneering at me, a malicious smirk on his pretty flower boy face. I hated his kind; people who used their pretty looks to get what they wanted, not caring about anyone or anything other than themselves.

“You think he’ll believe you? Or that he will stop giving me lessons just because you say so? You’re so funny… I can clearly see how much you have grown apart from each other. It’s only a question of time until he will break up with you and then my time will come…”

He laughed maliciously but didn’t expect what happened next. I grabbed him by his collar and pulled him up, ignorant about my surroundings at that point.

“You stay away from him or I will make your life a living hell, you hear me?”

He grinned at me and looked behind me then, his face suddenly turning into something that should evoke pity. It didn’t work on me, but it worked on my boyfriend who had suddenly reappeared and was now staring at the scene in disbelief.

Chan’s voice was toneless when he spoke. “What is this, Junho? What are you doing? Let him go this instant.”

I wanted nothing but to turn around and scream at him for being so ignorant to the truth, but I didn’t want to give his student the satisfaction of witnessing this.

Instead, I let go of him and turned around to smile at my boyfriend. “We were just talking a bit, babe.”

“I can see that. Hyunjae, we’ll continue this tomorrow. Please go home now…” He looked at his student for a second before he looked right back at me, anger clearly boiling inside of him.

“But Chansung-ah, the exam is in a week…” the guy tried to whine his way out of this, but Chan only sent him a fierce look.

“Go now. I’ll see you tomorrow.” No further word was spoken until Hyunjae had packed his things furiously and uttered a goodbye before he finally disappeared through the front door.

Chan’s cold gaze had never left me, his face expressionless apart from that, but I knew what to read into it and what to expect. He rarely raised his voice in arguments, his personality being less fiery than mine.

“Why did you do this, Junho?”

His words were calm and cut like shards of glass, causing a superficial pain much worse than deep wounds.

But I held his gaze, defiance clearly obvious in my posture. “Because you are too blind to see what is blatantly obvious, Hwang Chansung. He’s trying to worm his ways into your good graces and intends to break us apart. He wants you for himself and that is something I won’t allow to ever happen. You are mine.”

My words had been spoken calmer than I actually felt at that moment. Inside of me burnt the fire of hatred for this little shit and I wanted nothing more than to deny that he had actually gotten what he wanted. He had driven us apart even further, planting the seed of doubt inside of us.

Here I was, doubting the genuineness of Chansung’s feelings for me. There was no doubt about my own feelings for him, but this hint of uncertainty sufficed to make us go off track.

“And you think he might be successful? That he might steal me away from you? Why would you think that? Don’t you trust me at all, Junho? Haven’t I been anything but faithful to you through all these years? Have I ever given you any reason to doubt my feelings for you?”

His gaze was colder than ice, assessing every tiny reaction my body showed. I hated it when the cold analytical psychologist in him took over. He was immune to emotions then, making me feel helpless because I was the exact opposite.

My feelings had nothing to do with logic. It was just a primal fear of losing what is the most precious to you. But I knew he would judge me harshly if I told him that. So I remained silent, averting my gaze.

“Tell me, Junho, how shall this relationship work out, if you don’t trust me? Do you see me scaring off everyone who comes close to you? Am I being so unreasonable?”

My eyes shot up at him, glaring daggers because he had hit the nail on the head. “What am I supposed to do then? Watch it silently, maybe even give him advice on how to lure you in best? Should I tell him about your preferences in bed, perhaps? Fuck you, Chan, you know I’m not one to be like that! How can you expect me to hold still in a situation like this?!”

Tears started to fall from my eyes, but I was beyond caring about that.

“Now you’re just being plain silly. I would never allow this to happen…”

“Then why did you put up with all his touchy behaviour?! He was all over you all the fucking time, Chansung! Try to see this through my eyes for once! Imagine what it feels like to see someone trying to steal the person you love more than your own life from you! Right from under your nose! And then imagine how utterly helpless you feel when the person who is about to be stolen, denies you the right to care! Just try it for once! And then we can talk about me being unreasonable again! God, I’m so tired of this shit!”

My head started to hurt and the tears were flowing freely by now. I felt like being ripped apart, but there was nothing that could keep me together at this point.

“Let’s just not see each other for a while… Maybe this will help. And if not, you can always go to this pretty boy and be happy with him…”

I was about to rush to my room and pack a few necessities, just trying to get as far away from him as possible at that moment, but Chan grabbed my wrist with his hand and spun me around, right into his arms. He pressed his lips against my forehead, wrapping his arms around me as if he was intent on never letting me go again.

“Junho, baby, wait…” His voice was a soft melody, singing to my heart to pacify me.

“What for? To be called silly for caring about you? About us?!” I tried to counter without real strength. My voice was as powerless as I felt at that time.

He placed a trail of kisses down the bridge of my nose, rubbing my back ever so lovingly. “No, listen, baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise how much this hurt you. I always trusted you so unconditionally, that I never really felt the need for jealousy. So I deemed it unnecessary in general. And I assumed you wouldn’t feel the need to be jealous as well… But I assure you, for me there was never anyone else, Junho…Please, we don’t need to be apart. I want nobody else but you. Please don’t go.”

He started humming a random melody, still holding me in his embrace for what felt like an eternity until I had settled down again.

I had buried my face in his chest before, wetting his shirt with my tears, but when I looked up at him again and saw the deep love in his eyes, I finally believed him.

Hitting his chest playfully, I chuckled at his adorable look. He had never resembled our favourite teddy bear more than in these moments when he looked at me all lovestruck and at peace.

How could I ever not love this man?

“Stop ogling me with such a stupid expression, you silly bear…” It was my special way of saying I love you and he knew it.

A bright smile appeared on his face, making him look all goofy, but it was one of the things I loved most about him. His genuine happiness was so infectious that I felt a grin appear on my face as well, but I buried my face in his chest again, in order to hide it.

My attempt was pointless, though because he took my face in his hands and made me look up at him again.

“I love you more than anything, Lee Junho. Don’t ever doubt that, okay?”

His expression was serious, waiting for a confirmation from my side.

And even if I felt like kicking his butt a little, all I could actually do, was nodding at him and grabbing onto his shirt tighter.

“You are my everything, Channie. Without you in my life, I would be but an empty shell…”

I got on my toes and kissed him then, slow and deep and perfect. We got lost in the moment and each other, forgetting about everything other than ourselves.

The events of the evening made me crave his touch to assure that he was really mine in every possible way. So I gazed into his eyes longingly.

“Please make love to me, Channie.”

A soft smile and nod were all the response I needed, before our lips were back together while we danced our slow undressing dance down the hallway and into our bedroom.

His hands set my body on fire, exploring all the places he had explored a million times before, with just as much love and devotion as during our first time.

There was no way I would ever get tired of him. But at times I asked myself whether he might tire of me on day. If he would still love me like this twenty years from now, when I was no longer youthful and he might have had enough of my bitchy ways. Maybe the time would come, when his heart beat for someone else but me.

I feared for this moment to come one day, but whenever I asked him, he replied that he would still look at me the same way, still see the little boy in me, and the young man he fell head over heels in love with.

He said that I was everything he ever wished for. And that no one else would complete him as perfectly as I did.

And when he made love to me that night, it was for the first time in my life that I felt good enough to be loved by someone like him. I realised that he needed me just as much as I needed him. And that we really had been destined to forge a bond that was strong enough to prevail, no matter what the future would bring into our lives.

He became me and I became him, a union of bodies and souls without beginning or end. All we did was bask in each other’s presence and warmth, feeling more connected than ever before.

I wished this night would never end, but soon enough the sun peeked through the windows and it was time to get back to our daily routines again.

But we found ways to make up for the time we couldn’t spend together because of our schedules. We had settled for going on weekend trips at least once a month and spend more time together, in general, just us two, enjoying each other’s company to our hearts’ desire.

We were approaching our graduation days already, so neither of us did really have time to prepare anything special. Or so we thought. Because I had always wanted a tattoo, something that was meaningful and I would never regret getting.

I had thought about this for a very long time, finally deciding on getting it three weeks before my final examination.

I knew Chan was too busy with his exams to think about having sex with me prior to our graduation. So I had to take the chance and went to the tattoo parlour one afternoon.

It hurt a lot, but the pain was totally worth it. I had trouble not to grin like a madman whenever he was around. A million different reaction faces kept popping up in my head, one funnier than the other, but I had to keep it a secret for the time being.

When he told me casually to pack for another trip we’d go on after our graduation party, I became nervous. I figured he had planned something, but I was completely unaware of what it was. He hadn’t even hinted at where we’d go, so I was utterly clueless as to what to pack. Eventually I threw in a bit of everything, preparing for all the eventualities.

Funnily enough, the whole trip made me more anxious than my exams. And much to our surprise, Chan and I both passed with flying colours.

The night of the graduation, we went out with our friends, drinking and finally enjoying ourselves after strenuous weeks of studying. I had a bit too much to drink because, coincidentally, my band mates were with us, celebrating the deal we had gotten.

It felt like luck had finally smiled on us.

And as much as I tried to stay awake, I had a habit of falling asleep when I was drunk, so Chan was once again the one carrying me home.

He never complained about it and I loved him even more for being so considerate and caring.

I confessed my undying love to him in a million and one ways on our way home, clinging to his back like a baby monkey.

And I showered his cheeks with kisses, making him giggle like a girl because of my silliness.

“I love you too, Junho. And now shut up, because otherwise you will lose your voice before we even arrive at the destination.”

I pouted, but remained silent then, only clinging to him even tighter.

“Can we take Chanbear there too?”

He sent me a weird look from the corner of his eyes. “Aren’t you a little too old for Chanbear?”

I shook my head fervently, realising too late that it was not the best idea because it made me nauseous in no time.

“Urgh, no, I’ll never be too old for that bear.”

He snorted at that, patting my thigh lightly. “Don’t throw up on me, okay? And fine, the bear will come along.”

I giggled happily, pressing another kiss against his cheek and clung to him tighter.

By the time we arrived home, I was almost asleep, so he put me down gently, stripping me down to my briefs, before he lay down next to me, embracing me like the most precious thing on earth.

I heard his faint whisper before I fell into a peaceful slumber.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Junho. I love you more than anything.”

 

❈❈❈

 

The next morning started far too early for my taste, because I was still in his warm embrace and if it wasn’t for my bladder which felt like the size of a rhinoceros, I wouldn’t have considered getting up at all.

But wetting the bed was not an option, so I wormed my way out of his arms, already missing them. I was careful enough not to wake him, so I sneaked off, returning a few minutes later to the most precious view in the world.

I loved to watch him sleep, because he looked like the peaceful giant he actually was then. Chansung was one of the gentlest persons I ever met in my life, and I still considered it a blessing to know he belonged to me.

I couldn’t be more thankful for his personality. It was flexible like water, adjusting to almost anything and especially advantageous when it came to keeping my fiery one at bay.

He was my sanctuary and never failed to calm me down, whenever I got mad.

Our relationship gave me so much strength to face the daily troubles and to keep faith in my own abilities as a musician.

There was really no way I would ever let go of him willingly.

My need to be closer to him became stronger with every second I kept standing there, looking at him. So I crawled back under the sheets, remembering that he had undressed me last night. I hoped he hadn’t spotted the still healing tattoo, but it should have been covered by my underwear.

I couldn’t wait for his reaction, but didn’t want to hurry things up unnecessarily, so I snuggled into his arms again, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

His nose itched, which made me chuckle and brush my lips against his once again.

“Chan-ah, what are you dreaming about?”

He grumbled softly, not quite awake yet, but resurfacing slowly.

I traced the side of his body with my fingertips, down from his shoulder to his waist and back up again, which gave him goosebumps.

“Chan-ah, wake up. Let me see your silly grin.”

His brows furrowed and he grumbled some more before he eventually spoke in a husky voice. “What a nice way to wake your boyfriend up…”

His eyes were still closed, but I was too giddy to let him fall asleep again, so I stubbed his nose with mine. “Hey, come on, sleepyhead, rise and shine. We have places to go.”

He grinned despite himself, practically crushing me in a hug against his chest, before he rolled onto his back with me on top of him. Then he opened his beautiful eyes and smiled at me with all the love he felt for me.

“You agile little squirrel, why are you even awake yet?”

I was still a little breathless because of the hug, wiggling around to get more space. “Some air, please?”

He loosened the embrace, so I was able to sit up and straddle his hips now. I felt his bulge against my butt, but now was not the time to think about sex.

So I traced some invisible patterns on his chest while I looked down at him.

“Are you going to say anything soon, or do you intend to continue staring at me creepily, Junho?”

The smirk gave him away, but I hit his chest playfully anyway. “Yah, I was just wondering how I ended up with someone so ugly…”

He snorted at this and put his hands around my neck, pulling me down. “Of course, how could it be anything different.”

I leaned closer but wasn’t done with my special kind of sweet talking. “I mean, look at how much of a fabulous bitch I am and then there you are, all plain and ugly… You should be glad I’m still with you, to be honest.”

He smirked some more, rolling his eyes at me. “I am one lucky guy, that is true. Now come here and give your ugly boyfriend a kiss.”

I grinned at him, mischief in my eyes before I finally closed the distance and nibbled on his lips. “I think your lips and kisses are some of your redeeming qualities, though. And your D of course. That one is worth all the ugliness…”

He laughed a slightly annoyed laughter, staring right into my eyes then. “So you’re just in for the D? I see. Well, a word of advice, don’t go too far with your teasing, otherwise I might believe you one day, Lee Junho.”

I pouted at him. “You’re such a spoilsport sometimes… And no, I’m certainly not just in for the D. Believe it or not, I did fall for your character as well.”

He looked at me assessingly for a while, before he crushed me in yet another bear hug. “Your luck, mister… Oh shoot, we should be on our way already. We’re supposed to pick up the keys in three hours, Junho!”

I threw a glimpse at the alarm clock and back at him, eyes widened in shock. “Fuck.”

Chan laughed at that and pressed a tiny kiss to my lips. “Come on, we can still arrive on time. Let’s get going.”

My eyes widened even more at his words and I shook my head. “No, I will call them and tell them we’ll be there later. I will NOT have you driving like the devil just to get these keys, Hwang Chansung. I like my life, thank you very much.”

He grinned teasingly, his eyes full of conviction. “No, you won’t. Come on, Junho, you know I’ll get your precious butt there safely…”

I pouted, because yes, I was aware that he was a very skilled driver, even if he tended to surpass the speed limits occasionally, but that didn’t mean heart attacks would be impossible.

“I hate you, Chan. If I have to scream at you just once, I will kick your ass to the moon, are we clear?”

He nodded fervently, a huge grin plastered on his stupid bear face, but it looked so adorable, that I gave up whatever resistance was left in me.

 

❈❈❈

 

Needless to say, that I had a few near death experiences here or there because he couldn’t resist the temptation of nearly empty streets, naturally. But somehow we arrived even before the time and he went in to pick up the keys to our home for the week, while I remained in the car, trying to calm my heart rate down.

When we arrived at our destination, it felt like walking back into memories from years ago.

The scenery hadn’t changed much, but we were older now and our relationship had become much stronger and gained much more depth.

But seeing him standing there in front of the treehouse, I felt just as giddy as I had felt back when he had confessed to me. When he turned around to me and smiled his beautiful smile, the feelings became too much and I had to fight against the tears that threatened to fall.

Chan looked confused for a second, but walked over with long strides, pulling me into a loving embrace.

“Hush, baby. Maybe we shouldn’t have come here?”

I buried my face in his chest, clinging to him. “Oh shut up, silly bear. You couldn’t have chosen a better place. I’m just having a moment here, okay? Realising how fucking much I love you can be quite overwhelming at times…”

He patted my back then, but I could practically feel it coming.

“Aw, you’re so surprisingly cute sometimes.”

There it was, his patronising way of teasing me. “Yah, shut it, Hwang. At least I’m showing you that I love you occasionally.”

He snorted and tightened the hug. “I do that too, okay? Just more subtle, because I’m not such a crybaby.”

I pushed him away and glared at him.

“I am so not a crybaby. Take that back immediately.”

He stepped away, a playful grin on his face. And he had the audacity to shake his head.

My eyes squinted even more, I took a step towards him and growled in a low voice. “I will have your ass for that, Chansung.”

He wiggled his brows at me. He wiggled his FUCKING brows at me. “Is that a promise?”

I gaped at him for seconds on end, not sure what to reply if anything at all. I knew that he would twist every further word I said, so I tried to come up with something that wasn’t twistable.

“You’re going down, Hwang Chansung.”

He burst out into laughter. “Oh, THAT I’ll do most definitely. So why don’t you just take off your clothes, or shall I assist you?”

I was still more pissed than anything, so I spoke through gritted teeth. “Fuck you.”

He only looked at his fingernails, feigning disinterest. “Yeah, that is actually among my plans, too…” But as soon as the words had left his mouth, his face was serious again and his eyes fixed on me like a cat fixes its prey.

I was left speechless, but couldn’t move under his intense gaze, so I waited for what he would do.

His voice was calm, but I wasn’t strong enough to resist his pull when he motioned me to come over to him. He was leaning against the stairs to the treehouse, following my every move with his eyes. I almost felt him undress me with a mere gaze and it gave me goosebumps.

The way he caressed my body with his eyes alone was something otherworldly.

I stopped right in front of him, only half a metre separating us when he reached out and grabbed my hips tightly, pulling me flush against himself.

Our crotches connected and I felt how aroused both of us already were because of the bickering. It never failed to spice things up, even more so when we were in a stubborn mood.

A suggestive smirk played on the corner of my lips when I put my arms around his neck.

“What now, great Casanova? Shall we go up and reminisce some more?”

He raised his brow questioningly. “You think you can handle these memories? No more crying?”

I gave him an unamused look before I stole a deep kiss from him and bit his lower lip afterwards, making him groan in pain.

“You teasing little shit... The only cries you’ll get from me will be those of ecstasy, you hear me? And I better hear some of those  from you, too, or else I won’t go easy on your ass.”

Chan snorted, grinding his crotch against mine for the thrill of it. “Now you’re tempting me to misbehave, Nuneo.”

I leaned closer, teasingly brushing my lips against his a few times. “Perhaps you should give in to the temptation then? Because nothing else would please me more…”

He sighed deeply before he casually picked me up and carried me up the stairs. I stared at him in surprise, expecting an explanation. But since none came, I poked his cheek.

“Chan? We’re not married yet. And I’m not drunk… So why are you carrying me?”

He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes for a second.

“I’m just following your advice and giving in to the temptation. But the chances are high that someone might spot us if we stay outside. And your naked perfection is for my eyes only, so I’ll be damned, if I give anyone the chance to peek at us.”

He sent me another glance, this time full of fire and I found myself on the mattress as soon as we had entered the tree house. His lips were on mine a second later, no time to breathe or care about anything but him. His hands on my skin, his hair tickling my face, his taste in my mouth.

All my thoughts revolved around him, and yet I never stopped craving for more.

I struggled with his clothes, tearing at them feverishly, because I had to feel more, be closer, wanted him to pour all of himself into me and vice versa. And I saw it in his eyes and felt it in the way he touched me that he was just as desperate.

The weeks without touching each other had made us more sensitive and eager to feel the other in every possible way. So it took the last bit of restraint not to rip the clothes in our way, but with a lot of effort I finally succeeded in stripping Chan of his shirt.

His skin emitted a warm and spicy scent that was so typical for him and it made me feel like coming home. His embrace and body against mine had always made me feel this way. A feeling I never wanted to lose and hopefully never would.

  


❈❈❈

 

It felt so good to finally be able to feel Junho’s skin beneath my fingertips again and hear the soft noises he made. I hadn’t realised how much I had actually missed this until now.

But somehow he seemed distracted.

When he had taken off my shirt, he continued kissing me for a while, but I tried to get under his clothes too, so I worked my way downwards, unzipping his jacket with my teeth, while I pushed his shirt up with my hands.

Normally this would make him laugh because he always teased me for being too eager, but this time he gave me no reaction whatsoever.

So I looked up to see him gazing into space, his hands still buried in my hair. It was a little annoying to see him that distracted after all the time we had been holding back, so I decided on giving him a taste of my disappointment.

“Junho, baby… where are you with your thoughts?” I muttered against his stomach while I kissed my way upwards, pausing at his chest, still waiting for a response.

Since none came, I went for plan B and grazed his skin with my teeth, before I nibbled on his nipple a bit harder than necessary.

“Ow, fuck, Channie, why?” He sent me a half-hearted glare since I was still tending to the sensitive flesh with more adoration now.

“Because you’re not here with me, silly. And I want you to be.”

A shy smile lit up his face and he caressed my cheek.

“I’m sorry, Chanbear. It’s just that I have these moments when I become aware of how much you mean to me…”

I traveled further down again, tracing the outlines of his abs with the tip of my tongue. “But why now?”

I heard his chuckle because I had started tickling his sides and suddenly found his shirt pulled over my head, which made me grin against his stomach.

“Maybe because deep down I'm an old sappy grandpa already... And stop tickling me, you little shit!”

There it was, one of my most favourite sounds in the world. His laughter. The thing that made me face every new day with a smile.

Junho’s laughter and smile alone were enough to keep me going and build me up when I was down. They gave me strength when I had lost faith in myself.

And that was only one of many reasons why I couldn’t imagine a life without him in it anymore.

My mind wandered off to the gift I had prepared for him, but soon enough it went back to the task at hand, which was tasting him in every possible way.

I felt him shudder underneath me, as I kissed and licked my way down his stomach once more, occasionally tracing the waistband of his pants with feathery touches. His shirt was far up his chest again, exposing the skin that I never grew tired of caressing.

His voice had already turned husky when he asked me if I had heard the noises of a car and voices outside.

“In case you’ve been too far away with your thoughts again, babe, we’re right in the middle of foreplay. I’m about to suck your cock and make love to you eventually. So how would I be able to focus on anything but you?”

I looked up into Junho’s eyes just in time to see a blush tinge his cheeks in a lovely pink before he hit my head playfully.

“Aish, why do you always have to be so blunt, man?”

His sudden shyness made me chuckle. “Would you rather have me say that I am about to taste your essence and make you experience the highest state of bliss through my rather impressive abilities then?”

Junho hit my shoulder, but his lips were stretched into a lopsided grin. “Rather fond of yourself, aren’t you? But seriously, I could have sworn I heard something…”

I flashed him my cat grin, eyes boring into his, giving him no chance to break the stare. “Be that as it may, I certainly didn’t captivate your attention enough, since you were still able to care about the outside world…”

Diving down again, I pushed his legs apart some more, and let my fingers ghost along the inside of his thighs. His arousal was blatantly obvious by now and I gazed at it appreciatively, sending him a teasing grin.

“At least someone paid my serenading the appropriate amount of attention…”

All he did was throw his head back and grunt in fake annoyance. “Chansung-aaaaah, fuck!”

I had unzipped his pants already and pulled them down just enough to give his erection some room, tending to it with the utmost care. “Yes, babe? You were saying?”

His hand gesticulated around aimlessly.. “Just… ugh, do something about this… please.”

“Oooh, the p-word? What a rare occurrence...”

His response was preceded by another more frustrated grunt, accompanied by the most threatening glare I had seen in a while.

“Okay, Chan, here’s the deal: How about you put my D in your M and put your T to good use to make me C ASAP? I would really appreciate this because, despite the disturbance from outdoors, I’m about to go mad with lust. And I waited a fucking month to be close to your gorgeous ass again, so GIVE ME WHAT I WANT, RIGHT NOW!”

He glared daggers at me and I showed him my most disarming smirk in response, just about to get rid of his pants and underwear in a single stroke, when I heard a familiar and very cheerful voice from behind my back.

“Hello boys, there you are. We’ve been searching for your inside the main… oh.”

I rose and spun around in horror, spotting my father in the open trap door that led up into the treehouse. Had I left it open or was he the one to intrude without being invited to the party?

I spun around again when I heard Junho’s laughter because he seemed to be dying due to a lack of air. I recalled the state he and I were in but deemed mine less obvious, so I tried to cover him up with whatever I could grab first.

Needless to say that my casually thrown shirt didn’t do anything to hide his arousal, so I sighed and put myself in front of him, blocking dad’s view.

My breathless boyfriend did nothing to make the situation less awkward but felt the need to tease me for my tousled hair instead.

“Channie, come here and let me tame that bird’s nest, okay?”

He had sat up and his fingers combed my hair in an attempt to bring some sort of structure back, but I didn’t care at all. I was still busy staring at my father standing there with a half-smirk on his face, his cheeks a little red from the embarrassment.

But he seemed far too curious and happy for my taste, as if he had expected to find us like that. I knew my father too well. Someone had told them where we were and what we might be up to as soon as we got here. And that someone I would have a word with in a while...

“Dad.” I greeted him with a solemn nod, completely ignoring the fact that I was currently not in the most presentable state, horny boyfriend behind my back and general half-nakedness taken into account.

But I tried to keep some sort of dignity and authority.

“Son, Son-in-law.”

“Father-in-law.”

I was about to point out that Junho wasn’t his son-in-law as of yet, but both he and I had tried many times before, and they simply wouldn’t listen to us, so I settled for a deep sigh instead.

“Woo ratted us out, didn’t he?” I made it more of a statement than a question.

“No he didn’t.” My dad shook his head, trying to look trustworthy, but his ears turned red when he lied and I didn’t need any further proof to know he was lying in that very moment.

“I’ll tell him you tried to keep his cover when I’m kicking his ass, okay Dad? Either way, he was the only one who knew, so you can give up now…”

My father sighed and I felt Junho chuckle into my hair, his arms wrapping around my waist possessively while he rested his chin on my shoulder.

“Fine, yes. He told us, but only after we pestered him continuously. It was quite inconsiderate of you two to just up and leave without giving us a chance to congratulate you, you know? We haven’t seen you for months and your mothers were going mad with worry.”

Both of us threw him a judging glance, but three additional heads popped up in the trap door by then, giving him a similar look.

It was Junho’s mother who made the remark: “Oh, you’re using us as an excuse again so you won’t seem as much of a mother hen as you actually are, eh? Don’t believe a word he says. Your fathers were much more worried for your well-being, boys. Anyway, you’re looking good, my darlings. Such a glow radiating from both of you, one could assume you had been touched by a lover recen-… oh.”

I felt Junho nod at them.

“Yes, mum, exactly. Channie was about to give me some of that when you appeared.”

I didn't need to look to know he was pointing at my crotch casually. He may have smiled, but this smile was nothing but a sloppy cover for his bitchy expression. It was his way of signifying them that they had outstayed their welcome and were now in danger of getting unwanted insights into our sex life, if they didn't leave in the next few minutes…

Make that seconds, because the way Junho’s hands started to move lower on my stomach and were laid to rest just on top of my waistband, his fingertips already diving beneath it, I was certain that he was beyond caring, if they were going to continue watching us.

He made it clear that he wanted me. And that he wanted me now. So everything else would be put down as collateral damage on his tab. On mine, however, being watched by your parents while you have sex with your boyfriend was something entirely out of the question, so I grabbed onto his hands for dear life, entwining our fingers forcefully.

“Not now, Junho.”, I whispered energetically at him through gritted teeth, still keeping the smile up though.

“Oh yes, right now, Channie.” His hand got free and disappeared even further below my pants, making my skin break out into goosebumps, while I put my legs together in no time, blocking the view at this teasing my beloved devil of a boyfriend deemed fit for this situation.

Our parents followed this scene with a weird curiosity, not sure whether they should be endeared by our antics or annoyed by Junho’s obvious ignorance of their presence.

I twisted like a worm, trying to stop his hand from further exploring, but Junho wouldn’t have it. He whispered into my ear and nuzzled my neck while at it: "Channie, I said ‘right now’ earlier and no force of nature or other source will come between you and me before I have gotten what I wanted. You know that.”

I threw him a quick glance full of anger, but it held some resignation too since I knew he was right. “But does it have to be in front of them? Really?”

He nodded before he kissed my shoulder once in an attempt to make me relax. “Yes, it has to be. They have to learn to respect our privacy, too.”

Junho spoke his last words louder and stared each one of them in the eye as he did it.

They were kind enough to blush and look elsewhere, so he stopped with his teasing as well.

My mum was the first one to clear her throat and look at us again, much more caring and motherly now than when she had followed our actions before.

“Okay everyone, how about we postpone the congratulations for now and leave you two alone for a few hours? Come on, let’s go and unpack. Have fun, boys.” She sent us a wink and turned around already, pushing the others out as well.

That’s why I loved my mum, she could easily save the most awkward situation through her stubbornness. I winked back at her and smiled wider when Junho’s dad put up resistance, only to be shoved down the stairs with more persistence.

All we heard was a: “Make us proud, Junho!” From a distance, and he couldn’t help but play along, so he shouted back at them: “Of course, dad! You can ask Channie later…”

I decided to take some precautions and locked the trap door before I sighed deeply and turned around to Junho again.

He sat there, still glowing and beaming as bright as the sun.

“They will never leave us alone, won’t they?”

Shaking my head, I crawled closer and settled down between Junho’s now outstretched legs. “I don’t think so… Now, where were we again? Ah yes, I was about to serenade your D.”

He simply snorted and pushed me away again. “Wait a second, let me just get rid of my clothes first. I have a little graduation gift of sorts…”

So I sat back on my heels, looking at him expectantly, recalling my own gift. “You already had me at taking off your clothes…”

Junho got up and rolled his eyes at me before he turned around to strip down slowly and teasingly. It turned into a mating dance of sorts, which did nothing to extinguish the fire of passion inside of me. If anything, it made me want him even more.

In this moment, I regretted nothing more than not having slept with him for almost a month. I needed him more than ever, burning to touch him and mark him as mine. But whenever I reached out to pull Junho closer, he slipped away, smirking at me deviously.

A frustrated grunt was what I gave him in response. “Lee Junho, as you can see, I am very intrigued by your striptease and all, but it has been a damned month since I last touched you. Why won’t you let me have you?!”

Junho laughed at this. But he came closer now before he bowed down to kiss my lips softly and whispered against them afterwards: “You know I love to tease you, but you got one thing wrong, baby. I am already yours, body and soul…”

He kneeled down then, kissing me deeper before he sat back on his heels too. I spotted a strange glint in his eyes, wondering what was about to happen.

Holding his gaze for a while, I waited. But the only thing Junho did, was lean back against a pillow, his legs still pressed together firmly.

Another frustrated growl from me only made Junho’s smirk turned wider. “I love it when you’re pissed while we’re having sex, baby. You’re so much more forceful in these moments.”

Disbelief clearly written on my face, I laughed dryly. “There’s only one problem with your equation. I am pissed, but we’re not having sex…”

“Patience, little grasshopper…”

The nerve he had...

I took a deep breath and got rid of my pants, my movements rushed, but in no sense careless. And then I crawled closer again, my eyes fixing on Junho’s.

“Patience can kiss my ass. Lee Junho, I waited for this long enough. I want you now.”

Junho bit his lips in excitement, but he wasn’t entirely done with his teasing yet, so he held me back by putting his hand against my chest. The heat of his palm against my skin made me shiver in anticipation.

“I said wait. And you will wait. Don’t you dare spoil my surprise, Hwang Chansung.” He hissed these words at me like a cat. And I pondered whether it was worth bringing his wrath upon me, but eventually I settled for looking at him defiantly and remained where I was.

“Will you hurry the fuck up then?” “Yah, I will not have this tone, Mister!”

I simply poked my tongue at him in response, making Junho roll his eyes. “Gosh, you are so short-tempered when you’re horny, Chansung.”

“One fucking month of being tempted to reach out and find eternal bliss between your thighs, but reminding yourself that you must not do it. One godforsaken month, Junho. Excuse me, if I am a little bit on edge…”

He chuckled at that. “Fine fine, I have to admit I was close to jumping you out of nowhere once or twice, too. Anyway, as for my surprise…”

I fixed my eyes on him again. “Yes?”

He beamed brightly, his eyes soft and full of love. “I wanted to let you know that, hereby, I hand all of myself over to you willingly. I am yours entirely, for as long as we live, if that is what you want.”

Then he spread his legs, giving me a chance to spot the little letters that read ‘chan’ and ‘sung’ on the insides of his upper thighs. They were so close to his privates that no one but me and a doctor would ever see them.

I couldn't help but stare at them in disbelief, feeling the need to touch them and see if they were really as permanent, as I thought they were.

Junho nodded at me reassuringly. “Go ahead, they are almost healed.”

I couldn’t take my eyes off them, but was still hesitant to touch, so Junho took my hand gently and put my fingertips against the coloured skin.

I glimpsed at him for reassurance, but Junho only nodded and smiled. “Don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

A tiny smile rushed over my lips before I looked down at the tattoos again. My fingertips traced every single letter with the utmost care as if to figure out if they were really permanent and not just paint.

Junho seemed to follow my actions with nervous curiosity, probably worrying whether I liked them or not. Eventually, his curiosity couldn't be contained any longer.

“Channie babe? Please say something...”

The words and the slight worry in them brought me back from my trance, so I looked at my boyfriend and nodded my head slightly, a bright grin lighting my face up a little later. “Sorry, I was too intrigued by them, babe. I really love them. I just can’t believe that you’d be so crazy and get my name tattooed on your thighs.”

Junho snorted and pulled me closer by the neck. “I did it because I’m crazy in love with you, pabo. Besides, I could have gone for a vivid depiction of your cock instead of your name...”

He grinned against my lips and closed the distance, pulling me on top of himself. Our bodies aligned perfectly and Junho deepened the kiss some more, hooking his legs around my own then.

When I broke the kiss a few minutes later, I gently pushed myself off of my boyfriend.

“Wait a second, baby, you so wouldn't get a tattoo of my cock."

He smirked playfully at me then. "Are you willing to try me on this?"

My eyes went wide like saucers and I felt the need to gulp. "I think I'll pass, thank you... But let me give you my graduation gift too before we continue…”

Junho looked at me in surprise as soon as the words had sunk in. “I thought this trip was the gift.”

That made me smirk and shake my head, before I got up and went over to my discarded hoodie to dig around in the pocket, before I put what I had found behind my back and walked back towards him afterwards.

He watched my movements like a cat, intent and not missing anything at all. I saw him bite his lips as I walked over to him and he seemed unable to resist throwing a remark at me.

“You’re one sexy bastard, Hwang Chansung.”

I rolled my eyes at him but grinned anyway. “You never fail to remind me of that, Nuneo. But hold back a little longer okay? This is important.”

Junho’s face switched to a curious expression again, a solemn nod being all the response I got.

Then I took a deep breath, got down onto one knee and shoved what I held in my hand towards him.

Junho was surprised by the moves already, looking at me in confusion, before his gaze traced my arms down to my hands and focused on the little box in them.

It looked suspiciously like something that might contain some kind of small jewellery…

“Chan baby, what…?”

But I didn’t allow him to finish his sentence before I opened the box and gave Junho a chance to look at the ring inside. I felt anxiety rising inside of me and I wanted to get this over with since I feared for a negative response already.

“Lee Junho, I am aware that we are still very young. Maybe too young to make such a commitment yet, but I know that I don’t want anyone else to take your place. Ever. I love you more than anything. So will you marry me?”

He was completely dumbstruck for a few seconds, staring at me and the ring and back at me and then back at the ring. When he noticed my expression turn into uncertainty, he hurried to put his hands on mine.

“Gosh, baby, sorry, I… I really didn’t expect this.”

There they were, the words I had feared.

My face fell at that and I pulled my hands back, eyes downcast in resignation, but Junho grabbed them and held onto them tightly. “No, don’t you dare take that away from me again!”

Irritated by his sudden outburst I fixed my eyes on him again with confusion written on my face. “What?”

Junho pouted and took the box from my hands. “Aish, don’t be so dense. This tattoo was my own weird way of showing you how much I love you… I just didn’t want to push you too much, so I didn’t want to propose yet. Little did I know that you’d do it…”

Junho’s way of talking made me chuckle and pull him into one of my typical bear hugs. “Yah, you silly bear, let me get a look at this ring first. It looks really unusual.”

I winked and gave him some space. “That’s because it is. It’s made from resin and…”

“Is that your hair inside? And what’s with the red drops? Don’t tell me…” He stared at me in shock. But I only beamed at him. “Yes, that is exactly what you think it is. My blood and hair.”

“You’re batshit crazy, Mister.”

“I know. Comes with the job description of being your boyfriend.”

Junho threw me a dark look before he broke into a silly giggle. “God, I love you, Hwang Chansung.”

I joined the laughter and gazed at him with loving eyes. “So is that a yes?”

Junho shook his head fervently. “Nope. That is a fuck yeah. How could I ever say no to this, man?! I doubt I would ever find someone as weird and perfect for me as you, Channie. So yes, I will marry you and become your blushing bride.”

“Aw, you’ll wear a dress then?”

“Why yes, of course. The prettiest wedding dress of them all… No pabo, I won’t. I might be weird, but not THAT weird, Chansung-ah.” He poked his tongue at me and threw his arms around my neck, practically throwing himself at me with his full weight, so I lost my balance and went down on my back, Junho tumbling on top of me.

His voice was a husky whisper against my lips: “And now that we’re engaged, shall we have some celebratory sex?”

Our eyes were locked on each other’s, gazes transfixed, before I nodded and closed the distance between our lips.

But there was still a tiny thing to tell him. So I pushed him away a little.

"Eh, baby, I have a minor confession before we continue..."

He grew suspicious immediately, squinting his eyes. "What is it? Spit it out..."

I wiggled nervously, avoiding his gaze. "It's not just my hair inside the ring..."

He sat up at that, hectically checking his hair before he stared at me in shock.

"You cut some of mine without telling me?! Chansung, you fucker!"

I went into a defensive posture, raising my hands to fend for myself. "It was meant to be a surprise and you would have grown suspicious if I had told you. And it was only a tiny bit in a place where no one will notice it. I'm really very sorry, baby, but it seemed more meaningful with both our strands of hair braided into one. Please don't be mad..."

He seemed still very agitated but was no longer fuming. His angry huffing settled down eventually until he was only glancing at me occasionally, his brows knitted in annoyance.

A few minutes later he looked at my fidgeting figure normally again and opened his arms to welcome me in his embrace.

"Come here, you little shit. You can be glad that the result of your escapades is so beautiful... You're forgiven."

I clung to him like a drowning man, almost crushing him in my arms. Took deep breaths of his unique scent, a mixture of summer rain, some lemon and hints of ambergris. He smelt heavenly, my Junho. I couldn't resist burying my nose in the crook of his neck for a while.

"Channie? You're not going to cry, are you?"

I shook my head no, but remained as I was, simply basking in his presence. Well, that was until he started to kiss my shoulder and bit it with more force than necessary. I yelped in pain, but before I could rub it, he was already kissing it better.

"That was to get even for the hair, babe."

I rolled my eyes, sighing in resignation. "Yeah, fine. I probably deserved that... And you know what I just realised? We’ll never be able to tell anyone how we got engaged…”

Junho smiled brightly at that, cupping my cheek lovingly. “I think something along the lines of this is fine: ‘We were about to have sex, when I showed him my hidden tattoo close to my cock and he proposed to me with a ring made with our hair and blood.’ It does sound completely normal to me.”

I snorted at the suggestion and pecked his lips. “At least it says a lot about us as a couple…”

“And what would that be? Extraordinary and very creative?”

“More like weird as fuck and born for each other. But I love your weirdness more than anything since it complements my own so perfectly.”

He rolled his eyes and pinched my nipple. “Don’t call me weird, you weirdo. I’m clearly very normal. You’re the one to propose with your own blood and hair involved…”

I yelped once more at the sudden pain but never lost my smirk entirely. “I won’t accept any criticism coming from someone cheesy enough to get his lover’s name tattooed in such a place.”

“You’re not my lover anymore, though, you’re my fiancé now…” He seemed to ponder a bit on the words, tasting them in his mouth, throwing a thoughtful look at the ring on his finger. “Fuck, are we really doing that? Do I have to call you my husband then?” His face was cringed in distaste at the surprisingly plain expression.

I couldn't hold back a chuckle at the cute face he made, but figured Junho might really be expecting a response. “Eh, you could always opt to call me your banana loving bear husband or something…”

Junho raised an eyebrow at that, really considering it for a while before he squinted his eyes and fixed them on me.

“Banana loving makes it sound like you’re having an affair with them…”

I stared at him in disbelief for a while. “Are you serious? Lee Junho, no real banana will ever be able to replace my undying love for the banana between your legs…” My fingertips had found their way down Junho’s chest and stomach, now giving his cock a few tentative strokes to lighten the mood some more and prove my affection for his assets.

And soon enough his eyes rolled back, his body shivering slightly because of the pleasure he was given by me. I noticed how he bit his lips, clearly trying to stay focused, so I quickened my hand's movement some more and was rewarded with a soft moan.

“Why are you playing so dirty, you fucker?”

It wasn’t Junho's style to be idle for too long, though, so he pushed me on my back again, took my face in both hands and practically devoured my lips.

I had trouble balancing him atop of me, so I gave up on the stroking and settled for kissing him back just as feverishly, while my hands pulled Junho closer, so I could grind against him instead.

“Mh, Chan, this is not enough…”

I nodded silently and a heartbeat later Junho found himself on his back, trying to catch his breath while I left a trail of kisses and soft bites down his chest and stomach. With years of experience at my disposal, I knew exactly which buttons to push to bring Junho close to the edge, so I followed my intuition and went all in.

My enthusiasm to please my beloved devil in every possible way had probably been fueled by the dark ink on his fair skin and the meaning it conveyed. So I looked at it in admiration when I went down on Junho as I prepared him with the utmost devotion.

It didn’t take long for him to tense up and release in my mouth, my skillful movements just being one of many reasons for it.

But I took all that he gave me, licked him clean and lay down next to him afterwards.

“I take it you liked round one?”

I drew invisible circles on Junho’s chest, my hand moving upwards then, cupping his cheek gently.

And as much as he might have felt like giving me a bitchy reply, he just couldn’t muster it, still being too caught up in his post-orgasmic high.

So he turned to the side and just nuzzled the crook of my neck.

I chuckled at the unexpected cuteness, but put my arms around my fiancé and held him close, scenting him lovingly and wondering for the umpteenth time since we had gotten together, how anyone could ever smell so alluring.

“I love you, Channie.”

The words were a faint whisper, but they didn’t fail to make me smile into Junho’s hair.

I caressed his back for a while, until he had relaxed some more and started to grow restless again.

“Now why do you prepare me, if you don’t intend to…”

That's when my hand stroked along his thigh and I put his leg on top of mine. The gaze we shared was full of longing from both sides and he leaned in, tasting my lips lazily.

"I wanted to let you savour your moment of bliss to the fullest, my love."

He nodded, pecking my lips once more. "Thank you, baby. But now I want to return some of it to you, so please lean back and enjoy this, okay?"

I nodded yes and rolled onto my back before he straddled my waist and stroked my erection a few times to bring it back to full hardness. Once he had positioned himself correctly, he fixed his eyes on mine and sank down.

I fought hard against the urge to close my eyes because it felt too perfect and too tight and too hot. But the way he looked at the moment when we were connected entirely, as if frozen in time and space, his beauty and perfection preserved for all eternity, I just couldn't take my eyes off of him.

He arched his back and emitted a soft moan as soon as he started to ride me. Eventually he quickened the pace, slamming down harder, so he had to stabilise himself on my chest, his ring reminding me that he was truly mine now.

Junho took one of my hands to place it on his hip before I reached out with the other one to cup his cheek which made him smile softly and lean into the touch. I returned a smile, just as full of adoration, and brought his face closer for yet another kiss.

He took me by surprise when he moaned into it because I had hit the spot inside of him.

Driven by a sudden urge to please him some more, I moved up against him repeatedly, hitting his prostate every other time.

His movements became more erratic the closer we got to our orgasms. I felt him tense up even more when I halted and arrested his hips' movement too.

Junho took a moment to realise what had happened, his thoughts hazy because of the lingering orgasm.

"What's wrong, Channie?" he asked me huskily, looking more confused than anything.

I pecked his lips apologetically and attempted to rise. "Nothing's wrong, my love, but let me try a different position, okay?"

His face displayed even more confusion, but he relaxed.

"But we didn't even come yet..."

"That's why I want to switch. I want us to come together and make it more pleasant for you. Trust me, Nuneo."

He still looked a little skeptical, but nodded eventually, letting me position him according to my wishes.

We ended up on our knees, he in front of me, arms resting against the wall while I embraced him from behind.

"Ready, babe?"

A single nod and then I pushed inside, the sensation making both of us groan in sync.

As I moved, I stroked his erection and teased his nipple which made him shiver heavily. My tongue explored his neck and jaw, moving upwards to steal a sloppy kiss. It took only a couple of precise hits and his insides tensed up, the waves of his orgasm pulling me along with him.

I pushed into him a few more times, riding out my own orgasm, biting his neck softly as I moved. He arched into me, longing to be connected just a bit longer, to feel a little bit more.

Our movements stopped eventually and I resorted to hugging him loosely, holding him upright just as he balanced me out as well.

A soft laughter rumbled in his chest when I finally pulled out of him and sank down, Junho collapsing against my chest shortly after. He caressed my face lazily, played with a few strands of hair and brushed his fingers over my lips occasionally.

"How come I am so hopelessly in love with you, Chan-ah?"

I smiled goofily at him, pulling him closer. "Because you were never able to resist my charm. And I'm gorgeous and damned sexy and one hell of a lover. And there is no one else but me who could cope with your moods as brilliantly. And you never really tried not to be head over heels in love with me, of course... Need I say more?" I concluded with a cheeky wink which made him hit my chest.

My fiancé attempted to appear outraged, but the bright smile he tried to suppress in vain gave him away.

"Yah! Are you mocking me? I'm certainly never as full of myself as you make it seem!"

His chuckle was infectious and I chimed in.

"Au contraire, chéri. You're even worse. But I love you all the more for it and wouldn't want you any different. It's part of this weird ass persona I came to love more than myself, so please, never change, okay?"

He huffed in annoyance but kissed me anyway.

"I should be pissed, but somehow I can't find it in me right now. You made me soft with this sappy sweet talk of yours, my silly banana loving soon to be bear husband. Woe is me. What have I agreed to, huh?"

"Oh come on, don't be such a drama queen. You got yourself the best husband there is."

He rolled his eyes and leaned in for a kiss so deep and passionate and full of love that it left me breathless and awestruck once he broke it.

"There, much better already. Now be a good husband and try not to move around so much. I intend to use you as a pillow now. And I demand a hug. A Chanbear hug to be precise..."

His pout was something I had always been unable to resist, so I opened my arms for him, huffing as he threw himself at me forcefully.

He poked my chest to make a point.

"You knew what you signed up for when you proposed to me..."

I chuckled, crushing him in my arms. "I did. I do. I will always recall it. And should I ever forget it, you'll be there to remind me lovingly, no?"

"You can count on that, my heart."

He pressed his lips onto my chest as if to kiss my heart when he had finished his sentence and rested his ear on it afterwards, humming a soft melody.

I ran my hands through his hair all the while, enjoying the warmth that radiated from his naked body.

We remained like this for a while, just holding each other, thinking about what the future might bring.

I broke the silence when the sun peeked through the window in the roof.

"Junho, it's past noon already. Should we grace them with our presence now?"

He mumbled against my skin, clinging tighter. "Can't we just stay like this for another week or so? I really missed this, Channie."

I patted his head soothingly but was too eager to let our parents know to give in to his plea.

"There there, little grumpy cat. We can always cuddle some more once we've told them. I really want to see their faces, Nuneo. Please please please."

"Meh, I can't hear you. The person you've called is temporarily unavailable due to fuzzy brain."

I made him look up at me and grinned at his distressed features. "Aw, come on, don't spoil the fun. I really want to see the look in their eyes when they realise they'll be actual in-laws. Jjuno, come ooon."

"Yah, so annoying! Fine, have it your way, you baby. But YOU will do the explaining."

"Deal."

We got up and struggled a bit with our clothes, not exactly sure who had worn what, but in the end we were dressed decently and went over.

They were staring at us as we entered the room, their eyes assessing everything about our appearance. Junho had placed himself behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist possessively, his chin resting on my shoulder.

The ring was clearly visible, but none of them paid it any mind yet, because of our dead serious faces.

"We have to tell you something..."

I spoke with a solemn voice, looking as if someone had died.

Once our parents had exchanged a quick glance full of worry, they looked back at us and nodded in unison.

"We decided that it's better to break up now, since I made the mistake of having a one-night stand with a girl a few months ago and she's pregnant now and I want to be there for the baby..."

My mother gasped and her face fell for a second, the rest of them just staring at us in disbelief.

"Junho? Is that true?"

He gave a simple nod and tightened his grip on me.

"Yes, we found out only a few weeks ago... this is the last vacation for us as a couple. I... Well, I don't want this baby to grow up without a dad. Especially since we always wanted kids, but there's hardly a chance for us to have some of our own. At least Channie will have the chance like this..."

He even shed a few tears, burying his forehead at my neck, while  I stroked his hands comfortingly, whispering soothing words.

Our parents were still computing what we had told them just now. But my dad was the first to find a flaw in our story.

"Excuse the blunt wording, but son, you're far too gay for that to be credible. Besides, all I ever heard from you was Junho here, Junho there. Never in my life have I met someone as infatuated with each other as you two. So you better start spitting out the truth, or I swear, I WILL ground your asses. And I don't care at all how old you are. I'm still your father."

I stared at him for a while, but then I broke into a wide smile and heard Junho giggling from behind me.

"He practically called you too gay to function, Channie..."

"Did you say anything, Jungay? I couldn't hear you over all my fabulousness..."

I felt a sudden pain in my butt cheek because my devil of a fiancé had just pinched it with full force, making me jump in surprise.

"Yah, stop it, Lee Jungay!"

"Stop calling me Jungay, Hwang Sung!"

He launched a surprise tickle attack and I fought him as best as I could, but his mother was the one to intervene and call us back to the real world.

She rose to her full height and went into a motherly stance that, no matter how old you get, will never fail to make you feel intimidated.

"Will you two stop behaving like little children and explain this farce?! Sit down right now!"

We hurriedly obliged and huddled up to each other, suddenly convinced that this joke might not have been the best idea.

"Talk." This came from my mother, disappointment clearly written on her face.

Junho grabbed both my hands and held onto them like a lifeline.

"We're sorry, this was only meant to be a reprise for disturbing us... what we actually wanted to tell you is..."

I continued for him, taking his hand with the ring and stretching it in their direction.

"Can you see this?"

They gazed at it in surprise, our fathers raising their brows in irritation.

"Is that what I think it is?"

I nodded at Junho's dad and went down on my knees in front of him and his wife.

Junho did the same with my parents.

"I want to ask you for your son's hand in marriage." We spoke in unison, looking at them expectantly.

There was a long silence while all of them exchanged looks, making us grow impatient and eventually I had to reach out for Junho to hold my hand reassuringly.

If it hadn't been for him, I'd have gone mad by the time our parents focused on us again, eyes hard and general posture very strict.

The single word Junho's and my father said resounded in the silence that fell after.

"No."

Junho's hand nearly crushed mine after the unexpected response, but I brushed my thumb over the back of his hand to calm him down.

Then I gathered all my courage and was about to face them with stubbornness, but Junho spoke first, shocking me with his revelation.

"You realise that we only asked you out of courtesy, don't you? I will marry him, with your blessing or without it. I would prefer it if you agreed to this, but it's of no consequence. He alone is all the blessing I need in my life and I won't let you take him away from me..."

I snapped around, staring at him, as he directed these harsh words at my parents, but they seemed surprisingly unfazed by them.

"And how about you, Chansung?"

Junho's mother brought my attention back to them.

I cleared my throat and put on a solemn expression. "I would rather not take him from you, but I will if you force me to. I intend to make him mine and nothing will be able to stop me. I would walk to the end of the world to find him. And should the necessity ever arise, I would gladly give my life for him. You may be able to prevent a physical bond, but our souls you can't separate."

Junho squeezed my hand reassuringly again and both of us watched how the expression on our parents' faces changed into something softer and how they reached out towards us with open arms.

"That was the answer we expected. Anything other than that would have meant a no from us, but you've proved how much you belong to each other, so welcome to the family, Junho."

My mum had pulled him into a hug, my dad embracing the two of them as well while Junho's parents nodded at me and motioned me to embrace them too.

"Welcome to the family, son. We couldn't have asked for a better spouse for our Junho. Take good care of him, okay? He's yours now."

I clung to them like a little boy and buried my forehead where their shoulders met, whispering:  "Thank you for trusting me with him."

From behind me I heard my fiancé sobbing and as much as I enjoyed the embrace of my new family, all I really wanted right then was to hold him in my arms and make certain that this wasn't a dream. So I cleared my throat once more, pulling away from them.

"Please don't be mad, but I need to hold your son now, okay?"

"Of course, go ahead, Chansung-ah. It seems you always had a gift of calming this crybaby of mine down."

"Mum, I'm not a crybaby!" Came the reproach from a voice choked by tears, clearly proving him wrong.

Junho's mum chuckled in amusement over the heated response and pushed me towards him.

"Go on, he needs you, dear."

I nodded and crawled over, embracing him from behind.

"I'm here, baby, time to stop the salty rain and put on that sunshine smile of yours again. Come on, smile for me, please?"

Junho turned away from my parents and sent me a glare. "I'm not five anymore, pabo."

"Does that mean you won't smile? What a pity..." I whined like a child, making him giggle against his will.

My face lit up immediately, warmth running through me just because of his beautiful smile. The hug tightened even more, making him hit me playfully.

"Yah, you're better not trying to crush me again, Hwang Chansung! I can't breathe!"

"For someone who can't breathe, you're surprisingly vocal, Lee Junho."

I smirked smugly and pecked his lips quickly, leaving him speechless for about three seconds.

"Now, if that was supposed to be a peace offering, you failed miserably. Do it right or don't do it at all, Chan."

The comment was made by my dad and both Junho and I looked at him in astonishment.

"What? I'm right, am I not?"

My fiancé nodded as if hypnotised before he turned around in my arms, now fully facing me. Then he took my face in his hands and crashed his lips against mine in a hungry kiss, demanding so much more than I felt like giving to him in front of our parents. So I responded eagerly, but not too passionate.

"You'll receive the full version later, when we're alone, baby..."

Junho nodded in response, caressing my cheek ever so lovingly, brushing his lips against mine once more, before he placed a tiny kiss on the tip of my nose.

"Of course, Channie."

The beautiful smile on his face made me go all fuzzy and I embraced him yet again, burying my face at his neck.

Meanwhile, our parents were in several stages of embarrassed but happy about the display of our affection and rose up a little later.

“We were about to have lunch when you came over, so care to join?”

Junho knew that I never refused good food, so he nudged me and gave me a tiny smirk. “Come on, you will need all the energy you can get for later.”

A suggestive wink later we were on our legs and joined the rest at the table.

I couldn’t help but grin at him occasionally when I thought no one was paying me any attention, but I had underestimated my mother’s skills.

She made me choke on my rice with her comment: “Eyeing your dessert already, Channie?”

The coughing that followed earned me strange looks, but they averted their gaze soon enough, only two more remaining. Mum’s and Junho’s. The latter giving me a questioning look, which I put off with a shaking of my head. Mum, however, got the slightly surprised one from me.

She grinned, though, patting my thigh comfortingly. “It’s not that I blame you. He is gorgeous, my boy. I just enjoy seeing you two so happy. Never mind your mum, okay?”

“I’m glad about this too, mum. But you seem to have something on your mind?”

Her expression turned thoughtful and a little sad. “Oh, well, I just wondered when you’re planning to have your wedding…”

“Probably in late August this year, but we haven’t settled on that yet… And now tell me what it really is that bothers you, mother.”

“It’s nothing really. But when you brought it up earlier, I realised how much of a problem it might be for you to have children together.”

I caught her in an embrace then, no longer able to see her so sad. “Mum, do you remember that Junho and I visited this orphanage for a few years already? We spoke about it from time to time and we will pester the authorities in charge to agree to it eventually. There are so many children who need a new home and what does it really matter if they are our own flesh and blood? We will find them in time, there’s absolutely no doubt about it. And you’ll be a wonderful grandmother to them.”

Suddenly there was a hand resting on top of my mum’s. “All of you will be the most amazing grandparents any child could ever wish for, mother-in-law. Don’t worry about this, okay?”

Mum nodded at Junho with teary eyes and squeezed his hand. And when I looked over at him, I saw that he had his arm around his own mother, patting her shoulder soothingly.

Our dad’s followed this with a soft look in their eyes, shaking their heads at each other for a moment, before they embraced their respective wives and motioned us to leave them alone.

“Go, son, go and enjoy the day with your man. Don’t worry about us, we’ll recover from all this in a bit.”

I nodded and rose, took Junho’s hand then and squeezed dad’s shoulder as we walked past him. “Thank you. I love you, dad.”

His eyes lit up some more at this, a bright smile appearing on his lips. “I love you too, my precious boy. And now off with you two.” He winked and Junho pulled me away and out through the door then.

He stopped at the hammock beneath our tree house, jumping in skillfully, and looked at me then. “Will you please get in and keep your promise now? I’m in desperate need of your touch, Mr. bear husband.”

I climbed in carefully and nestled against him then, putting my arms around him. One of my hands rested on top of his chest, feeling his heartbeat syncing with mine.

“So how many kids will we have?” I registered his chuckle but was already too far away to reply, his heartbeat lulling me into a soft slumber.

The last words I heard were: “I really love you, Chansung, with all my heart and soul.”

They were followed by a tiny kiss on my forehead and then I was swept away by sleep…


	2. When Lady Luck Meddles With Your Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Used prompts for this one:
> 
> Prompt 1 - a line from a book or song:
> 
> Today love smiled on me
> 
> Prompt 2 - a picture: 
> 
>  
> 
> <http://flic.kr/p/7xkRbd>
> 
>  
> 
> Prompt 3 - a theme:
> 
> Amnesia

Two paths that have been running alongside each other for years were finally about to cross through a twist of fate.

 

❇❇❇

 

He had been counting the hours until the expected call finally came.

It was a video call actually, his two best friends waving at him through the phone screen.

He grimaced at them and covered his eyes, which made them laugh like mad. “Ugh, will you two PLEASE cover yourselves?! Or is that part of the punishment for ratting you out?”

The squinty-eyed of his friends threw him a glare then. “You’re damned lucky that you’re not here right now… They arrived when Channie was about to go down on me… After a month of not doing ANYTHING at all.”

“YUCK, JUNHO, WILL YOU SPARE ME THE DETAILS PLEASE?!”

“YAH, STOP SCREAMING AT ME, WOODONG-AH! And shut up, I’m not done telling you what happened...”

Wooyoung still pulled a face but remained silent.

“So we were… intimate with each other, and they did what they always do. Disturb us. Thanks to you, I might add. Anyway, you recall my graduation gift for Channie? Turns out the little shit really liked it...”

“Don’t call me little shit to his face, you little fuck.”

Woo tried to avoid it, but he still caught a glimpse of Junho shutting his boyfriend up with an unnecessarily deep kiss.

“Guys, I’m really happy for you two, you know that, but is all this really necessary?”

Both of them sent him a glare then but started giggling a second after it. “You haven’t heard the fun part of the story yet, Wooyoungie.”

That was Chan, usually the calmer and less dangerous of the two. Highly depending on the situation of course.

But Wooyoung hoped for fewer details from him, so he nodded and sighed. “Go on then.”

Chansung smiled widely and moved Junho’s left hand closer to the camera.

“Do you see this? Guess what it is!”

Woo stared at his screen, trying to figure out what he saw. “A ring? Is that a braid inside? And what’s with the red drops?” He gasped then, mouth hanging open for a while as the realisation hit him. “CHANSUNG, YOU CRAZY BASTARD! DID YOU ACTUALLY PROPOSE TO HIM WITHOUT ME BEING AROUND TO LAUGH AT YOU TWO FOR BEING SO OLD SCHOOL?! I HATE YOU, MAN!”

“YAH! WILL YOU STOP SCREAMING AT MY FUCKING FIANCÉ, JANG WOOYOUNG?!”

“SHUT UP, LEE JUNHO! I’M NOT DONE WITH YOUR MAN YET!”

Chan was laughing in the background while Junho was huffing angrily and staring Woo down through the screen.

The latter took a deep breath and sighed once more. “You don’t have to be so overprotective of him all the time, Junho. Seriously, of course, I don’t hate you. But my little heart is in pain because you two evil shits did this without me.”

He put on his distressed expression and actually succeeded in making them feel a little bad. And making them laugh despite that because they had never been able to take him serious with THAT expression.

“We’re sorry, Woo, really. But it seemed the right situation somehow...” Chan started to apologise, but Junho cut him off, his grin a little too smug for Wooyoung’s taste.

“Yeah, just the perfect situation. Naked and completely on edge. You should totally propose like that too, when the time comes, Wooyoung-ah.” He spoke the words sweetly, but the images they evoked were much more difficult to handle.

“Junho, I told you to stop giving me details!”

“Like I care…” He poked his tongue at the oldest and was done with him then, leaving Woo staring at the screen in frustration.

“What a disrespectful little shit you are, Junho. Treating your poor hyung like that.”

“Ne, hyung. That’s just what you deserve for sending them after us when you were completely aware what we were going to do first thing we arrived here...”

“He has a point there, you know? You could have given us a few hours at least, Wooyoungie.”

He gasped dramatically and put his hand on his heart. “You’re stabbing me in the back too, Chansungie? I would have expected it from squinty eyes there, but you? My precious bear?”

“Even a bear has his priorities, okay? So, don’t try to make him feel guilty when you are the one in the wrong, Woo. Either way, our parents know about the proposal, too. And you better be a brilliant best man and help us with all the preparations…”

“You’re making me best man? Both of you?”

Junho rolled his eyes in annoyance and smiled once Chan had bitten his shoulder lovingly. “No, I was talking to the guy behind you… Of course, you’re going to be our best man! Who else is even remotely deserving of that position?”

Woo poked his tongue at the younger two then. “Stop it already, Chan. I know what you’re doing there, and I don’t want to witness this, okay?! And fine, I guess I’ll be the best man then. Now, when will you two lovebirds be back here? And when will the wedding take place?”

Chan mumbled it against the skin of Junho’s shoulder, so Woo understood next to nothing. “Can you NOT mumble it to Junho? He already knows this.”

Chan looked up at him with dark eyes then, making Woo shiver a little because he wasn’t used to this side of the gentle man.

Junho practically purred the words, patting Chan’s arms that were wrapped around his torso. “There there, Channie, go on, I will tell him.”

The tallest of the three went back to whatever he had been doing to his fiancé before and that left Junho suspiciously breathless.

“I’m so done with you two…” Wooyoung facepalmed and sighed for the umpteenth time in the last fifteen minutes or so.

“Now, it seems that you’re still not even remotely finished with your catching up.”

“Far from it…” Junho chipped in with a silly grin plastered on his face and his eyes tightly closed.

“To think that you two aren’t even able to keep your hands away from each other for fifteen minutes… Not even after all these years… Anyway, please enlighten me as to when I’ll bear witness to this unification of two lovers.”

“Yeees…”

“LEE JUNHO, HWANG CHANSUNG, FOCUS! I refuse to witness THAT kind of unification!”

Junho’s eyes snapped open and he took a few seconds to focus on Woo again. “Sorry… Eh, we’re thinking at the end of August? And we’ll be back in a couple of days.”

A dry laughter escaped his throat, but Woo gave them an ‘Are you fucking serious’-look a second later.  “You are aware that this is just around the corner and we have a ton of stuff to plan? How can you be so calm about this? It isn’t even MY wedding and I’m freaking out already!”

“Woo, do me a favour and sit down, count to ten and breathe deeply. We don’t want a huge feast or anything. There will only be a handful of guests anyway, just family and close friends. This is no royal wedding, okay? Don’t make a fuss about it, promise?”

Chan looked at him with his wise eyes and Woo felt calmer already, seeing their point. They had never been too public with their relationship, so a wedding like that sounded much more like them.

“Okay, fine, no coach pulled by white horses then? And what about the pretty dress I already planned for Junho?”

“Oh, get the fuck out, man!”

“I’ll take that as a no then... Chan?” Woo looked at him hopeful but got an unamused stare back.

“Thanks, I’ll pass too”

“You two are no fun at all. Meh, such spoilsports.”

The two on the other end grinned then and blew him some kisses. “We love you too, Woodongie. Shall we pass on some greetings from your traitor ass to the rest of the stalkers?”

The oldest nodded with a fond smile on his face. “Of course, and make sure to tell them to contact me about the wedding, too, okay? As for you two... Have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

He winked and waved at them and waited for them to wave back before he hung up.

So, he had a wedding to plan now. Brilliant.

'Seriously, how did I end up being their best friend?'

A deep sigh and last sip of his coffee later he rose from his sofa and grabbed his keys, wallet and phone before stepping out into the world to get some groceries.

Woo was still getting used to the fact that these two were really going to tie the knot and become a family now. And then there was him, no relationship, no intention to have a serious one anytime soon and, worst of all, not even a plan for the near future in general.

That’s when it hit him. Literally.

He was too lost in his thoughts to notice that he was crossing the street while the traffic lights were red. Neither did he notice the car that was approaching him, until it hit him.

He rolled over the windscreen and landed heavily on the pavement, hitting his head badly. All he thought was: ‘Fuck.” and then he lost consciousness.

When he came to his senses again, someone was shouting instructions to someone he was unable to see. The guy who was staring down at him now and blinding him with a white light looked suspiciously like the captain of a ship in an ancient porn he had watched with Chansung and Junho years ago. Cheesy 70s porn music kept on running through his head as he kept staring at the man who appeared to be talking to him.

“... were hit by a car and have a few broken ribs and bruises. Probably a concussion. We’re taking you to a hospital now, Mister Jang.”

Woo’s vision was starting to blur again, the image of this guy from the ambulance shifting between his current clothes and the uniform of the captain from the porno. Things were taking a turn for the weirder when the guy smiled warmly at him.

Woo could have sworn he knew him from somewhere. Other than from that porn, of course. But the harder he thought about it the more he lost hold of his memories. All he could recall was a word. A name perhaps. He was unsure, because of its foreign sound.

‘Khun.’

Soon enough his head started to hurt too much to stay awake, so he closed his eyes again and handed himself over to peaceful unconsciousness.

His body was one great pain when he resurfaced again. He was staring at a plain white ceiling in a generic hospital room, the smell of antiseptics and general sickness clinging to him like a lover.

He had never been fond of hospitals, but now that he was a patient in it, the situation looked even worse.

A sudden panic grabbed a hold of him and he had to move all his aching limbs to make sure everything was still where it should be. Woo groaned because of the effort and spikes of pain it sent through his body, but he had rarely been happier about it, too.

Pain meant everything was still in its rightful place after all, but he felt anxious to get up and get out of there really quickly.

He was about to sit up when he heard the door to his room being opened.

“Oh god, Chan, he is awake, hurry!”

Before he had the chance to even turn his head in the direction of the noise, he was hugged by four arms, making him moan in even more pain.

“Ow, stop it, I’m fragile!” he croaked, surprised by how hoarse he sounded.

“Yah, you silly thing, how dare you run into a car and land yourself in hospital?! You’re really stubborn when it comes to sabotaging our reunion, Woo. But thank goodness you’re alive and kicking.”

Looking to his right he saw a guy with a very familiar smile, and on his left was a smaller guy with squinty eyes, trying to suppress some sobs.

“I hate you, Jang Wooyoung. I didn’t need my other best friend in here as well. Not after what Channie went through back in the day. Don’t expect me to confess to you as well, just because you’re in the hospital now, okay?”

He heard the words, but his brain was far too laggy to make sense of them, so he stared at the smaller guy blankly.

“Junho, he has a concussion, give him a chance to compute all that.”

He shifted his gaze between them, as they stared at each other for seconds on end, before both looked down at him again, smiles back on their faces.

The guy called Junho squeezed his hand assuringly, while the one called Channie was patting his arm.

“Eh, I remember the accident. But who are you two actually?”

Their faces froze for a while, falling in sync a little later. As serious as the situation might have been, he couldn’t suppress a chuckle at their weird antics. It seemed that they were really working on the same wavelength.

“I’m sorry, but do I know you? You look familiar, but…”

It was the Junho person who replied dryly: “We’re your best friends, Wooyoung. HOW ON EARTH CAN YOU FORGET YOUR BEST FRIENDS, MAN?!”

His face was twisted in something between anger and frustration until the other guy reached out and squeezed his hand tightly. It sufficed to make the smaller relax again and sigh.

“I know it’s not his fault, Chansung. I know. It’s just such a shitty situation to be in, seeing your favourite people in the world hurting so much and not being able to do anything to make it better…”

“Hush, baby, I’m sure Woo will remember everything in no time and be back to his old self. I have faith in you, Wooyoungie.”

Chansung smiled at the patient then and nodded once. And even if Woo didn’t recall them in that very moment, he was certain that they were very close to him and that the taller guy was right.

“It might help, if you told me a few things we did together? Memorable stuff… And, I’m really sorry to ask you such m questions, but does ‘Khun’ ring a bell to you? Because it’s something that has been flickering through my head ever since the accident…”

They exchanged a knowing look, but no word was spoken until Junho looked at Wooyoung again. “Eh, it’s probably better, if you figure this out on your own, Woo. These memories might be too much to handle in your condition.”

“Oh, okay… So, when will I be able to leave?”

Chansung laughed dryly. “You have a few more days to go, Wooyoungie. A few broken ribs will heal at home, too, but the doc said they’ll keep you here to see how your concussion develops. And I guess they might want to test you more thoroughly, because of this amnesia. But we’ll visit you whenever you want us to.”

Woo smiled sadly. “Thank you. I think I really appreciate that.”

The other two grinned at the weird way their best friend was speaking to them, but went in for another hug, this time not as tight.

“Don’t worry, we’ll bring you lots of photos and old videos. We’ll get your memories back in no time, okay? You can rely on us, Woodong-ah.”

He felt really warm and fuzzy in their embrace, his instincts telling him to trust them and believe they would make everything right again. And then a sudden flash of a memory hit him.

It was a similar scene, only that he wasn’t the one in the hospital bed, but a boy who resembled Chansung.

Wooyoung and another boy were hugging the patient in a similar fashion, whispering soothing words to him while they embraced him. The other boy had tears on his face and looked extremely distressed, but somewhat happy at the same time.

The boy’s squinty eyes were what convinced him eventually that he was really remembering a scene from his past, with these two in it.

He cleared his throat once, then a second time, finally chuckling awkwardly. “I… think I might have remembered a little something? Did Junho and I visit you in the hospital in our early teenage years perhaps?“

Chan stared at him in awe for a few seconds, before he grinned widely and nodded his head. “That was when I broke my leg, yes. See? It’s slowly coming back.”

“So typical for you to remember me in one of my ugliest moments, Woo… All tearful and puffy because of that little shit over there.”

Chan only beamed at him, completely unfazed by the remark. “I was still very much in love with you. Maybe even more so, because you cared so much.”

That made Junho smile to himself and cast his eyes down. “Stop it, Chan.”

Woo followed that exchange curiously, trying to figure a few things out.

“Sooo, you two are my best friends… But you’re dating each other?”

Chan nodded at him while Junho beamed like the sun. “We’re actually engaged since yesterday. And told you about it this morning… Well, before you had your accident. Then we came back as soon as we could to check on you.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh sums it up quite well. Anyway, we’re glad you’re still in one piece. Your parents were informed too, so they should arrive here soon. In the meantime, we’ll go to your apartment and pack a few things for your stay here, okay? Or do you want one of us to stay here with you?”

Junho was already about to move to the door, when Woo took his hand and squeezed it. “It’s fine, I’ll be fine. I think I need some time to digest everything, so go ahead and go together. I’m not going anywhere in this state…”

“We’ll be back in no time, Woo. Rest well and get better soon, okay? Do you want something special to eat?”

He thought about it for a while, not really sure what he preferred when it came to food, but suddenly his mouth started watering as the image of chicken appeared in front of his inner eye. “Chicken, something with chicken.”

Chansung chuckled happily at that, patting his shoulder lightly. “That’s the Woo we know and love. We’ll get you something tasty on the way back here, okay? See you in a bit, Woodongie!”

With a last squeeze of his shoulder, the two went away, entwining hands as they were heading for the door. He couldn’t help but smile at their obvious affection.

But he hadn’t been lying, when he said he needed time for himself now. The pain was getting worse again and he really felt like sleeping for as long as possible. So he closed his eyes, pondering on why they had refused to tell him about ‘Khun’.

The images in his head kept twisting and turning, a familiar face popping up from time to time. Seriously, what was this obsession with that weird captain from the old porn? But the image dissolved and shifted, turning into the same face with different surroundings.

The guy’s smile was far too bright, so he fought to close his eyes, only to realise that they were already closed tightly. The guy still kept on smiling, no matter how hard Woo tried to think about anything else. Safe to say that it annoyed him to no end.

Eventually, he had come to accept the omnipresence of this guy’s face in his mind and decided it might help to analyse his features down to the small wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. He counted the hairs of his thick eyebrows, imagined how they would crawl over his face and felt how his lips curled upwards in a grin. Then he counted his lashes and analysed the shifting nuances of brown that formed his irides.

He marveled at the beautiful curve of his lips. And gosh, was he being girly right now, but the only word that seemed appropriate to describe the guy's face was 'angelic'.

Woo had to fight against the urge to barf, because he had most certainly never thought about a guy as angelic before and he was quite sure the accident had left a bigger impact on his brain than he had expected initially.

He groaned in pain as he tried to adjust his position a little, but realised it might not be the best idea. So he remained the way he was, his butt slowly falling asleep.

At this rate, his butt would be practically non-existent by the time he got out of here. But what to do? He had been stupid enough to run into this car and now he had to pay the price.

"This sucks. Stupid car, stupid ribs, stupid best friends..."

"Now now, you don't mean that, my boy."

It was a female voice, full of warmth and as comfortable as a hug.

His eyes shot open, only to shift towards the door and see if he recognised the woman.

Mum. "Mum! Dad! You're here!"

His parents smiled at him as if they were seeing a little child.

"What are we going to do with you, huh? Always finding yourself in some sort of trouble, Wooyoungie. But how come you remember us? Channie called to let us know about your amnesia."

Woo rolled his eyes and shrugged, only to curse in the most colourful ways afterwards.

"Ow, shoot, I'm sorry for the cursing, but I tend to forget about the wounds and then this happens... Anyway, I haven't forgotten everything. Just a few things. But I'm glad you're here, honestly. I missed you."

He looked at them longingly, waiting for them to come over and comfort him. He really needed someone to hold on to. A fixed spot in the mess that his life had turned into recently.

And they were there, gathering him in a hug that spoke of better days to come.

A while later his best friends returned as well, catching up with everyone and recounting all the important events from their shared past, so Woo could fill some of the blanks.

But neither one had ever mentioned ‘Khun’ and he was extremely irritated by it.

“Will any of you tell me about ‘Khun’?”

They looked at him in silence, waiting for who might reply first. It was Woo’s mother who shook her head.

“This is a chapter you better recover on your own, my dear.”

He all but groaned in frustration. “Why? Can it really be so bad that you refuse to talk about it?”

“It’s not exactly bad, but… we lack the necessary insight to tell you, so it has to come from yourself, Woodongie. And it will come back, don’t worry.” Chan squeezed his hand a little and nodded at him reassuringly, the others joining in, too.

All they heard was a deep sigh before the patient flashed them a tired smile. “Fine, I’ll stop asking you… For now.”

His friends winked at him then, and his parents smiled happily. “That’s the boy we raised.”

He grinned, but with very little energy left. “I certainly hope so. Anyway, please don’t misunderstand me, I love having you around, but I’m exhausted. And I think the doc should check in on me quite soon…”

“Hush, my son, we’re going home now. Get some rest and don’t worry too much about your memories. They will return eventually. Your mother and I will stay at your apartment until you  leave the hospital if that’s okay with you?”

Woo looked at them as if they had grown a second head just this very second. “Eh, sure, no problem… Junho and Chan have a spare key, but you can get mine.”

They nodded and took the key from his belongings, saying goodbye afterwards.

As soon as they were out of the door, his smile fell and panic was written all over his face. “Fuck, my apartment looks like a mess. There’s random stuff everywhere. And I didn’t hide my ‘stuff’ very good either.”

Chan’s big hand grabbed his then, squeezing it for the umpteenth time that day.  “Don’t worry, I cleaned up a little when we were there… And Junho, well...”

“I found your secret stash and decided it might be better to remove it from your apartment temporarily, you perv. Seriously, I thought the two of us were kinky, but that was a whole new level of extravagant, Woo. I approve.”

“I’m not even sure what this stash included…”

The apparent unawareness of his best friend put a bright smile on Junho’s face which, in turn, made Wooyoung fear for what he was about to hear.

“Oh, you know, just a little bit of this and that. Oh, and plenty of THAT.”

That’s when it hit Woo. Like a train. His face fell immediately. “Nonononono. Not THAT. No, I refuse to acknowledge THAT.”

Chan beamed at him then. “Oh, but we had plenty of fun buying THAT for you, don’t you remember? The day we decided to get you an ‘adult’ present for your 18th birthday? I have such fond memories of this day…”

Chansung got side-eyed by both of them then. Hard.

“Yah, wipe that perverted grin of your face, Hwang. We’re so not doing THAT again. I couldn’t sit normally for DAYS. And… Oh no. DON’T YOU DARE USE YOUR PUPPY DOG EYES ON ME, YOU FUCKER!”

Clearly having a death wish, the giant among the three defied his loving demon fiancé and used it despite the warning, making Junho groan in frustration and look at Woo for help.

“Tell him to stop, Wooyoungie. I’m powerless against this. This demon with an angel’s face will lure me into his lair and do unspeakable things to me. Which I WILL tell you about in full detail…Please help me, hyung.”

The only thing Woo did do was roll his eyes at them and their weird antics. Even harder so when Chan pulled Junho into a hug and covered his neck in butterfly kisses, making his fiancé giggle like a girl.

“You brought this upon yourself, Junho. And don’t even try to convince me that you don’t love every second of this. You two are beyond salvation. Now go and make some babies, or whatever it is that you guys do in your free time.”

The silly couple cooed at him in response, letting go of each other, before Chan tried to cheer him up. “Aw, don’t be grumpy, Woo. You’ll find your special someone one of these days, too. I’m sure love will smile on you very soon.”

Wooyoung’s reply sounded much grumpier than intended, but still very appropriate. “Who says I’m looking for a special someone? Love is just not the thing for me. An occasional bed adventure is all I’m after...”

Junho crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking at him with brows raised so high that they disappeared behind his fringe. “Are you trying to make US believe that or are you trying to convince yourself, Jang Wooyoung? Because we’ve had this talk close to a million times already and the bottom line is always that you want someone to complete you. Someone to love you with all your flaws and edges. Someone who doesn’t try to change you, but accepts you for who you are.”

“WILL YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT IT ALREADY?! I know that I want all of that, Junho. I know. But it’s not like love hits you like a car. And yes, I get to make that joke, because I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE HIT BY A FREAKING CAR. FUCK!”

He was on the verge of tears already, not even remembering everything yet, but it was still enough to make him realise that his life was empty and directionless at the moment. And it hurt, it hurt so much to see the happiness his best friends had.

By no means did he want to take their happiness from them, but he was tired of seeing what he could have had. He was tired of the pain it brought him and tired of considering himself a bad friend for being jealous about their happiness. He was just so, so tired of everything.

Barely audible he spoke to them, his eyes downcast. “I’m sorry for the outburst just now, guys. And I’m sorry if this might seem ungrateful, but can you please go now? I love you with all my heart, you know that, but I have no strength anymore. I’m so tired. Please go home and come visit me tomorrow, if you feel like it. Thank you so much for coming back here for my sake and being the best friends one could ever hope for. I don’t deserve you, really. But I’m glad I have you.”

The two visitors looked at him with concern, but nodded eventually, knowing there was nothing they could do for now. He had always been someone to figure out his problems on his own, and if they were able to help, he would let them know. So they bowed down, capturing him in a loving hug, which made him feel somewhat peaceful again.

“If there is anything we can do, Woodongie, please don’t be afraid to call. We’ll always be there for you, okay?”

“Yes, no matter how late it is, we’ll come running to you.”

The patient nodded, a tired smile on his face. “I know, guys, I know. And I’m grateful for it. But I’m good now. The staff here will take care of me for the night. And I really need some time for myself anyway. So go ahead, I’ll promise to get back to my old self quite soon and annoy the living daylights out of you for being such evil little shits to your hyung. But I love you, I really do. In a purely brotherly way, of course... Geez, Junho, stop it. I will not take your bear from you!”

He chuckled at the way Junho was sneering at him, his hands holding his fiancé’s possessively. Chan was just beaming like the lovestruck fool he was, when Junho was concerned and especially when the smaller made it clear that the giant belonged to him and only him.

“I’m still having my eyes on you, Wooyoung…”

He chuckled violently at that, considering to get up and kick their asses to make a point, but deciding that it might be too painful after all. “Seriously you two, get out of here and fuck each other’s brains out. I can see there’s still plenty of energy left in you. Shoo, away with you.”

The two smiled at him appreciatively and gave him another quick hug, followed by two pecks at both of his cheeks.

“Ew, stop it! Gosh, can you be gayer?” He laughed heartily, pushing them away a little.

“I fear we’ve reached the limit, darling. But we’ll get you there eventually.” That was Chan, winking at him in the cheesiest way possible.

Junho all but wiggled his brows, smirking at him, while he hooked his arm around Chan’s, waving at their best friend then.

“See you tomorrow, you pretty thing you.” Junho, forever keeping up his image of an evil tease.

“Yah, come here and let me show you how much of a pretty thing I am, you little shit!”

Junho walked away then, shaking his head no, a helplessly shrugging Chan in tow. “See you, Woo.”

“Goodnight, guys. Make me proud, okay? And I will haunt your asses if you lay a hand on my secret stash. This is entirely off limits to you!”

“Whatever, Woo…”

They winked and were out of the door, leaving him with a tiny smile that disappeared all too soon as he became aware of the emptiness of his room and even more depressing, the emptiness inside of himself.

The days passed in a hazy blur of pain and endless visits. He was glad about them, but they reminded him of how unable he was to actually move around freely and come and go as he pleased. While the doctor had told him to walk around the hospital grounds to get some fresh air and exercise his aching muscles, he was still not allowed to go home.

And even worse than the days were the endless nights full of dreams about some lost memories. Always this stupid face of this stupid captain from that stupid porno haunting him. He was beyond tired, trying to stay awake as long as possible to avoid these dreams, but always failing.

Woo wasn’t sure when this had become his daily routine, but he started to see the guy’s face while awake too. Be it in his food, in the patterns of the wallpaper or the spectrum of the light the sun cast on the walls as he shone through the window at a weird angle. He had read about a wonderful word for this phenomenon once while he was reading about an amazing house that was almost entirely built out of glass. The word was solkatt, Swedish for sun cat and he had fallen in love with it ever since he had first read it.

He realised he was really going mad, remembering such seemingly pointless things. And it happened at an alarming rate. But there was nothing to be done about it, since he had still not regained any memory regarding this guy and his friends and parents still refused to tell him about this ‘Khun’.

One day when he really felt as if the ceiling was about to come crashing down on him, he got up and decided to take a walk outdoors.

Architecture had always interested him and in the garden behind the hospital there was a very futuristic yet amazing mixture of a statue and a building. A winding path led up to it, but it was separated by a tiny channel. This path had evoked some emotions he couldn’t really place at the moment, probably due to the lack of memories that were connected to it. He couldn’t be sure, so he had been staring at the path and the statue for hours now, still not entirely able to grasp what the creator of it might have had in mind while building it, but what did it matter, anyway?

The point was, that he had lost the sense of his impending madness in the waves and loops of it. And that was all that mattered. He stared at the statue without thinking about anything at all and yet everything became perfectly clear while he did.

It was the simplest and yet most complicated thing he had ever seen, if that made sense. Just like love. It’s apparent in the tiniest gestures and yet it is such a complex emotion. Maybe he had been looking at love wrongly all the time. Maybe he had wanted too much and searched for it in the wrong places. Maybe the tiny little things were what truly gave you the ability to love and be loved by someone.

Just when this realisation had hit him, he was pulled out of his thoughts by a familiar voice speaking to him from behind his back.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Woo turned around to look who was talking to him, but once he spotted his face, he felt like being hit by a car. Again.

It was the porn captain/ambulance guy who had saved him. And he felt nauseous for some reason because a voice in his head kept screaming ‘KHUN’.

“Eh, what is?”

The guy pointed at the statue then, smiling patiently. “The statue.”

“Oh.” Woo looked at it again, his head turning in what felt like slow motion. “Yes.”

“I’ve noticed you coming here for a few days now. This place is usually deserted, but lately you keep showing up…”

Woo had trouble following his words, the slowed-down slur making little to no sense at all. “Yes.”

The guy looked at him strangely, something between concern and irritation. “Are you okay? You seem a little distracted?”

“‘m fine…” That’s when the blackness hit him, gathering him in a hug similar to that of a lover’s.

He came to a couple of minutes later, lying on a bench, staring up at the blinding sun and wondering what had happened, until a face appeared far too close to his own, making him jump in surprise.

“Holy sh… don’t scare me like that, man!”

The guy just smiled in relief, moving away a little further and nodding at Woo.

“Fine sorry, but you were the one who scared me in the first place. I’m not used to my conversation partners suddenly passing out. But your pulse is stable and you don’t have a fever…”

“Yah, don’t touch me so nonchalantly!” Woo rose in a hurry which made him dizzy, so the stranger had to stabilise him again.

“If you refrain from sudden movements for a second, I promise no more touching will be necessary. Sheesh, I’m just trying to help you, man. No need to be so aggressive. This is my job after all.”

“Your what?” Wooyoung stared at his suspected saviour as if he had a horn growing out of his forehead.

“My job. I’m part of an ambulant rescue team. A doctor so to say. Not with the title yet, but I still try to save as many people as possible. You being one of them. Twice now.”

The stranger looked on edge as if he expected Woo to jump at him any second “Hell, can you not look so murderous for a second, please? All I did was make sure you stay alive…”

This made the patient realise how freaked out he must have looked just now, so he relaxed visibly, shaking his head to clear it off the remains of strange memories buzzing around in there.

“I’m sorry, but this amnesia is getting the better of me. I haven’t even had a chance to thank you for saving me, …eh, what was your name again?”

The stranger smiled genuinely and held out his hand. “Nichkhun Buck Horvejkul. Or Khun, if you prefer that. People from around here usually have trouble pronouncing my name, so the short version is fine.”

Woo stared at the hand, then at him, back at the hand and back at him again. His eyes widened in disbelief before the blackness hit him once more. Painfully. Breathtakingly. Mercilessly.

He woke up in his bed, trying to figure out what had happened and realising he had no idea. Then he heard someone rummaging around in his bathroom. He wondered whether he had fallen asleep during one of his friends’ or parents’ visits, but couldn’t spot any clothes or bags that looked like they belonged to them.

His eyes grew to the size of tennis balls, once he spotted who the person emerging from the bathroom actually was.

“Khun.” he croaked hoarsely, grabbing his own throat because of the sound he had just made.

The man smiled and walked over, taking a bottle of water and offering him a glass full of it.

“Here, you have to drink a lot, it will help with your headache.”

Wooyoung nodded his thanks, secretly glad to have an excuse not to speak for a while. So he clung to the glass with both his hands, nipping from it occasionally.

“You might ask yourself how you got here, huh? I carried you back and had the doc in charge check you. He said you’re fine, so why do you keep passing out on me?”

The patient couldn’t help but stare at the other in bewilderment. “Are you serious? Oh god, this is getting more embarrassing with every passing second… I-eh thank you for helping me out man, but can you just forget about everything?”

Khun gave him an unamused look, complete with crossed arms and raised eyebrow. And as serious as this situation might have been, Woo all but burst out laughing. He whined some too because his rib cage was still not entirely healed and hurt like mad, but he just couldn’t stop.

“I most certainly can’t. And have you gone mad now?”

There was concern in his voice, too, but mostly irritation. He looked at Woo for minutes on end, waiting patiently for him to settle down again.

“I don’t think so, but maybe I did. Not sure. Do mad people usually realise they’re mad? You’re the doctor here.”

“As far as I know, truly mad people are unaware of it, so no, you’re probably just a little out of your right mind. And laughing at me. For no apparent reason. And it doesn’t seem as if you’re going to tell me why anytime soon...”

Woo just waved it away, still not breathing normally. He sighed once and took a deep breath. “It’s just that my memories came back when you told me your name. EVERYTHING. Each snippet that was missing. All the embarrassment and pain, anger and helplessness. All at once. It was too much for me, so I passed out.”

Khun pulled a chair closer to Woo’s bed and sat down. “Tell me what you mean, because I don’t think I ever met you before the day I saved you. And aren’t you glad to have them back?”

Woo rolled his eyes, the other man’s words stinging more than he had expected, but he would rather choke on his own words than let him know about the pain it caused him.

“You see, just because YOU don’t know ME doesn’t mean I don’t know YOU. And no, I wouldn’t mind losing them. For all I care they could stay in their secret corner of my mind, collecting dust. Most are far too embarrassing to even think, let alone speak. And don’t even get me started on the realisations I have to put up with now...”

“Can they really be so bad?”

A dry laughter escaped Woo’s mouth while he looked as unamused as it gets. “Think about the worst thing you can think of and multiply it with ten. Now you’re close to it. No, seriously, telling you would only make things way worse. So I would appreciate it if you left me alone now. Thank you for everything, really, but I don’t want to keep this chapter of my life opened any longer.”

Khun pouted a little, leaning back on his chair, staring at the other intently. “I’m not even sure what I did to you to deserve this treatment. The least you could do is tell me what I did to you, to make you so angry.”

Woo groaned in frustration, before he stared him right in the eye, blushing a little, but he decided to ignore it for the sake of his image. “You see, the problem is you never did anything to me. You never noticed me, when all I wanted was to get to know you, spend time with you, maybe become friends, maybe even lo-… Ugh, no, just leave now…”

All of this had caused Khun so much irritation that he simply couldn’t let go of it, so he sat there, holding Woo’s gaze effortlessly. “No. Not until you’ve told me everything.”

“You never cared about my existence before, so why would you suddenly start being interested in me? I’m tired of this. I spent years and years fawning over you from afar. I do not have the energy to continue doing so.”

“Fawning?”

“YES MAN! What are you? A parrot? I developed a huge crush on you back during my first year of high school. There, it’s out. Are you happy? Now get the fuck out and leave me to die in embarrassment!”

Woo was about to turn around in his bed, but Nichkhun grabbed his arm to stop him.

“We went to the same school?”

Another frustrated groan. “Yes, we did. The same university, too, but it was unintended. My point is that I have been longing for someone who is clearly out of my reach for years. And it hurts and is pointless. I don’t want that anymore. I don’t want to see your stupid face whenever I close my eyes or recall the sound of your voice at the most random times. So please, just go away and leave me be…”

“But I’m here now, reaching out, so why don’t you take this chance and get some closure?”

“What closure is there to be gained, when there was nothing right from the very start? It’s not like I ever stood a chance at becoming your friend, let alone more than that. I don’t want to be saved by you. I want more than that. So much more and unless you are ready to give that to me, you can save the effort for someone else…”

“JANG WOOYOUNG, STOP TALKING FOR A SECOND AND LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE!”

Woo was staring at him as if he’d been struck by lightning, only nodding in response, because this outburst had made him forget about all the excuses he was about to give Nichkhun.

“I will not get out of your life after all that you just told me. Don’t ask me what, but something about your weird behaviour really struck my interest. And I want to get to know you. We’ll see how things will develop from then on, but I refuse to let go of this chance.”

The patient nodded again, the hint of a smile flickering over his lips.

“And now go ahead and tell me when you first noticed me.”

With a red face, he began recounting the memories he had just regained. His fingers twisted and turned his sheets, until Khun took his hand gently and held it in place, making Woo smile to himself.

“The first time I noticed you, was on your first day at our school. I was almost too late for my afternoon classes when I spotted you walking in front of me. You had an unusual uncertainty to your walk as if you were considering to turn around and walk away again.  
I didn’t think about it at first, but you must have felt really out of place and alone back then, right? To switch schools in the middle of the year, coming from another country, probably not fluent in Korean at all… When I found out about the circumstances, I felt really bad for you.

But I’m glad you were put into the same class as Taecyeon-hyung and Minjun-hyung.”

Khun nodded along, smiling because of his own memories. “Yes, I couldn’t have been luckier. They were a huge help in the beginning. Without them, I would have been lost. How come you know them?”

“Oh, Minjunnie-hyung was an assistant to one of my professors in uni. One of my best friends and I usually helped him out with a few things. And Taecyeon-hyung was just always someone I looked up to.”

“I see… Does Minjun know about your crush on me? Because he never even hinted at it.”

Woo panicked, nearly crushing Khun’s hands. “Oh nononono, I never told him. Only Junho and Chansung know about it.”

The Thai gently unwrapped his hands from Woo’s and placed his own on top of them afterwards. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone if you’re not comfortable with it. But really, why did you never approach me?”

He honestly couldn’t see a reason for this, so he hoped Woo would enlighten him a little.

“I already told you that I was afraid. And didn’t want to invade your world. You seemed so happy with your friends and the girls who were constantly buzzing around you that I figured I had no chance anyway. And I didn’t think I was good enough for you, too. You were such a sweetheart to everyone, and then there was me, bitching over the least important things, being the worst company one could ever wish for…”

Woo sighed and felt like running away, the emptiness inside of him threatening to overwhelm him once more.

But then there was Khun’s hand on his chin, making him look up into his eyes. His skin tingled where the Thai’s skin connected with his.

The slightly taller man smiled softly, his face showing that he really cared.

“Woo, hey, listen to me. I’d love to get to know you better. You seem to be a nice guy, regardless of how strange you might have behaved initially. There’s absolutely no need to be disheartened, okay? Just give yourself a chance.”

The patient nodded hesitantly, sighing just for the sake of a little defiance.

“Fine, I’ll try."

Khun's smile widened before he nodded and pushed himself off of his chair.

"Great, I'll take your word for it... And I'm really sorry, but my shift starts in a bit, so I have to go now."

The Thai scratched his neck nervously which made Woo's face fall since he expected a cheap excuse.  

However, much to his surprise, Khun made him an offer then.

"I have tomorrow off, so how about this? I'll pick you up at lunch, we'll eat and spend the afternoon together? Maybe walk around a little, just what you want. I'd love to hear your story. What you like, what you dislike, which common interests we have... I mean, only if you're okay with it, of course. I don't intend to invade your privacy."

Woo couldn't help but laugh at the surprisingly cute behaviour of the Thai, making Khun frown at him.

"I'm sorry, Khun, I swear I'm not laughing about you. It's just that you didn't strike me as the cute type. But I think it suits you. I mean you can pull it off without appearing unmanly. Please stop me, or I'll talk myself into hell's kitchen..."

While Woo face palmed Khun grinned at him, shaking his head slightly.

"Won't happen, because you are far too intriguing like that. Anyway, you haven't answered yet..."

The patient blushed, his eyes averted.

And then he spoke, his words barely audible.

"I would love that. Spend time with you, learn about you, too, and tell you about myself, if you really want me to."

When he looked up, the genuine smile on Khun's face was still there and as much as he tried to fight it, he had to smile back.

Khun took his hand then, squeezed it once and winked. "See you tomorrow, Wooyoung-ah."

Woo nodded, still beaming like the sun. "Yes, have a nice shift, Khun."

As soon as the other had left the room, Woo sighed deeply, his eyes focusing on the solkatter on the wall. He still saw Khun's face in it, but it gave him a different feeling now. He felt all warm and fuzzy and if he was truly honest with himself, the butterflies from years ago were back.

'Today love smiled on me.'

He felt like shouting it out of the window, like writing it on walls and calling his best friends and parents now to shout it at them, too.

His phone was taken out in no time, the number dialled in what seemed like light speed. And then he waited. Endless seconds passing until he heard the voice mail answering.

"JUNHO, CHANSUNG, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING! I JUST WANTED TO CALL YOU DICKHEADS TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I FIGURED OUT WHO KHUN IS!"

He hung up with a gigantic smirk on his face, counting the minutes until his phone started ringing.

"How did you figure it out?" That was Chan, sounding very hoarse and Woo could have sworn he caught Junho giggling in the background, before he heard naked flesh being slapped, followed by an outraged 'Ow!'

"Don't tell me you guys are still fucking like bunnies."

"Yah, stop answering with questions of your own, Jang Wooyoung. My fiancé asked you a question."

Woo smirked wider, wondering whether he should hang up and make a video call.

"Judging by the butt slapping noise just now, I assume you're still naked?"

"As the day we were born. You sound like you want to see that for yourself?" Junho, as always being the worse of the two.

Woo replied in a drawl, rolling his eyes so hard, he hoped they would feel it.

"Yes, of course, you know how much I love seeing your naked asses... No, seriously, I need to see your potato faces when I tell you, so cover up, okay?"

"Fine..." Junho hung up immediately, leaving Woo to stare at his phone, still a little taken aback by how rude the older of his best friends could be.

A few seconds later, his phone rang again, revealing two more or less clothed men draped over each other on their sofa.

"Who are you and what have you done with our best friend?" Chan started, staring at him in irritation while Junho went on:

"Is that a smile on your face? Is it contagious? Have you been taken by aliens?"

Woo gave them a raised brow, the smile still refusing to disappear entirely, though.

"Listen, you little shits, I'd love to bicker with you, but I have no brain capacity left for that. I know who Khun is."

Chan felt like pointing out that they already knew that.

"Shut up and listen. I know who he is because he works here and I met him today. Well, to be honest, he was the one who rescued me. One of the ambulance guys..."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! HOW ROMANTIC IS THAT?! Why haven't you saved me like that yet, Channie?"

"JUNHO, STOP FLIRTING WITH YOUR FIANCÉ AND LISTEN!"

The squinty-eyed of the two eyed him with eyes so tiny that Woo burst out laughing. He felt so elated, it was no longer normal.

"I can flirt with him whenever I feel like it, you fucker." The patented Junho pout followed and made Chan crush him in a bear hug which in turn put silly smiles on both of their faces.

"How am I supposed to lead a normal conversation with two lovestruck fools? Anyway, so I met him. And blacked out. Twice. Which ended up with him bringing me back to my room." He decided not to mention the fact that Khun had carried him there. Too dangerous.

"So he talked to you?"

"Yes, Channie, we talked and somehow I ended up mentioning and denying my crush on him in the same sentence. That led to enquiries from his side and long story short, we agreed to meet again tomorrow. He asked me to spend the afternoon with him after our lunch together..."

They smiled softly. It was Junho who asked: "So, is this a date?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure."

"Well, okay, but are you happy?"

"Fuck yeah, I've rarely been happier than right now."

"Then it's good. Enjoy the date and don't pressure yourself, alright?"

"Of course I will. And I'll try not to scare him away. But really, you two, I feel like love has really smiled on me today. It's so weird, I don't know what to do or say, let alone how this might develop..."

Chan chuckled, trying to be objective with his advice: "Listen, Woo, stop using your head all the time and just follow what your heart tells you. Be yourself and try not to give him a fake image. You deserve to be loved for who you truly are, good and bad traits included. Don't settle for less than that."

Junho nodded along, smiling fondly at Woo, as soon as his fiancé had finished.

"He's right, Woo. Don't force yourself and you'll be fine."

"Do you really think so?"

Both men nodded full of conviction.

It was hard for Woo to believe them and even harder to believe in himself, but he tried.

And with each day he spent with Khun, he started to trust him more, discover facets he had been unaware of before. He realised that Nichkhun was just as imperfect as he was, but together they were perfect.

Khun shared his interest in architecture, so it was through his influence that Woo eventually found the confidence to pick up his studies again.

Their friendship developed into something deeper when Woo took the initiative one night while they were out on a date with Junho and Chansung, Minjun and Taecyeon and their respective girlfriends.

The others were never really secretive with their hints and remarks regarding Woo's and Khun's relationship. But so far neither Khun nor Woo had initiated a talk about it.

They had exchanged keys to their apartments, but that was it, no kissing, only some accidental touching of their hands, hugs that lasted longer than necessary.

And during that particular night, Woo finally found his courage, so he motioned Khun to follow him outdoors for a bit.

The rest of the group remained at their table, exchanging knowing smiles.

As soon as they stepped outside, Woo pulled Khun to a less crowded corner of the parking lot, through the gates and into the little park nearby. He sat down on a bench, patting the wood next to himself.

Khun hesitated for a second before he sank down as well.

"It seems as if you have to tell me something, Wooyoungie."

The smaller nodded and gazed into the distance.

"Yes, indeed I do. I... you see, we've seen each other for months now. You changed my life in more ways than I could have imagined. You helped me believe in myself and I am grateful for that. But my feelings for you are still there. I want you in every possible way. Not just as a friend. I want to be with you, kiss you, touch you, become one with you..."

"But?" Khun had known this all along. He had never expected anything different. Wooyoung had always been honest with him, but the Thai needed to be honest too.

"I fear this might be crossroads for us if you don't want the same."

Khun nodded, his face serious and very thoughtful about the next words he was going to speak.

"I see. And believe me, when I say this, please. I feel the same pull. You're everything I could ever wish for at this point in my life. But I have a wish I can't let go of. I want a family one day, with my own children..."

Woo stared at him, grasping the meaning of what he meant to say with this.

"So, you want to be with me right now... but can't promise me forever?"

Woo's voice was void of emotion, his reason the part of him that was speaking now. Khun's nod was all he needed.

"You're giving me a way out, aren't you? To avoid the heartbreak that you'll bring me one day..."

Another nod. "Yes, I don't want to hurt you. But I know I will on the long run. And still I can't let you leave my life entirely. It's selfish, I know..."

That's when Wooyoung realised he was unable to simply walk away from him at this point. However short-lived this might be, he wanted Nichkhun whole. Not just a tiny fraction of the man he had grown so fond of.

So he turned to the side, facing him now.

"Khunnie."

The Thai looked at him, his eyes filled with fear of the words that would follow.

"Even if you warn me, I cannot let go of you. There's no way of knowing what the future brings. A few months back I wouldn't have expected to ever meet you again. And look at us now, sitting here, talking about a possible future.

I don't care about tomorrow, but I know I want to spend today with you. I can't guarantee anything. But what I feel for you is the beginning of something that might turn into a deep and unconditional love one day. So please, be with me, against the odds the future might bring."

He put his arms around Khun's neck then, pulling him closer until their lips met in a kiss that was softer than expected, but still full of everything they were unable to convey with words.

❇❇❇

  
But sometimes we need to speak the words that can’t be spoken, find the impossible truth inside of us or else two paths might easily disentangle again.


	3. As Life Starts To Unravel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Used prompts for this one:
> 
> Prompt 1 - a line from a book or song:
> 
> The stuff that you do with the girl is only the first part; the other part is what you say to the guys afterward. In fact, I was starting to think that maybe that was the most important part. (from Jason and Marceline)
> 
> Prompt 2 - a picture:
> 
> <http://24.media.tumblr.com/10f5a58cfd81b9688954d8cd874961df/tumblr_n02d2k0CDH1qemuero1_1280.jpg>
> 
> Prompt 3 - a theme:
> 
> Unfaithful

In retrospect, this was the day when bliss and devastation turned out to be just two sides of the same medal.

 

❇❇❇

  


When I woke up next to him, everything was still as it should be. Our skin sticky from the passionate love we made the night before, his cool breath on my neck in a steady rhythm.

His arms were wrapped around me, one of his legs on top of mine.

Usually, I wasn’t as fond of the clingy types, but with Khun it was different. He didn’t really fit my type at all, far too normal and too androgynous in his looks, but I had never been able to resist his charms.

One of my loving nicknames for him was ‘Plaino’.

I was about to find out how plain normal he actually was that night.

Today was the wedding of my best friends. These two had finally decided to tie the knot after a million years of living in concubinage. I feared their habits would only get worse from now on, but I loved them like brothers and was more than happy for them.

Khun and his best friends, our seniors from school, usually joked around how the youngest of our circle of friends were the first to get married, but they were happy for them, too.

And to make that happiness perfect and unforgettable for them, Junho and Chansung had asked me to be their best man. Now, since I was the only best man, I had to take care of pretty much everything the soon to be married couple couldn’t.

We survived both stag nights without remarkable incidents. Well, other than Junho refusing to move at all in his very drunken state, that is. He practically turned into Sleeping Beauty when drunk and only his fiancé was allowed to touch him then.

Believe me, he turned into a rabid beast, if anyone other than Chan tried to wake him, let alone carry him somewhere. I had enough bite and scratch marks to prove it to anyone who doubted this.

And that night it wasn’t me, but my lovely Plaino who got bitten. Junho turned out to be especially pissed because of the general lack of his fiancé in the close vicinity, so Khun’s arm was decorated with a pretty teeth shaped bruise a few minutes later.

While Taec tried his best to help him take care of it, I called the beast master to pick up his human-sized cat of a fiancé and kicked my supposedly best friend playfully for biting my boyfriend.

“Yah, Channie, I didn’t want to call you, but your pet devil bit my man so hard he left a bruise. I fear he’ll bite the next person’s head off, so could you please come here and pick him up? You’re the only one who can tame him.”

“He did what?! Is Khun alright?! Shit, give me twenty minutes, I’m still in the tub. And do me a favour, keep everyone away from Junho, okay? See you in twenty, Woo!”

He arrived fifteen minutes later, storming in as if he was running for his life.

“Where is he?!”

The situation was far too hilarious to resist the laughter that built up in my chest, especially when I saw how dumbstruck he and Khun looked at each other.

When they heard my breathless laughter from beside Junho, their stupor broke and Chan hurried over to Khun to check on him.

Checking on him practically meant kneeling down, though, because Chansung had always felt guilty when Junho bit someone. But Khun pulled him up and gave him a hug instead.

“Don’t worry, Channie, I will survive. Just take him home before he gets the chance to wreck more havoc. He was particularly grumpy all evening since you weren’t around.”

Chan nodded before his eyes searched for the familiar figure of his fiancé who was currently getting comfortable on my thigh.

Relief was in his eyes as he hurried over and reached out with the utmost care. He cupped Junho’s cheek, brushing a few strands of his hair away and spoke as softly as if he was talking to a little child.

“Junho, wake up. I’m here to take you home, baby.”

“Chanbear…?”

He beamed at him with so much love, it was borderline disgusting. If I hadn’t been exposed to all their lovey-dovey behaviour, I might have run for the hills, but I was used to it by now, so I settled for making a few noises of disgust and slapping Junho’s butt.

“Yah, Lee Junho, you bit my boyfriend. Apologise to him and then get out of here. Channie will take you home.”

You could practically watch as realisation dawned on Junho and his face turned into a pout.

“Why are you always so mean to me, Woodong-ah? I missed my Chanbear, that’s all.”

He turned to Khun then, shrugging apologetically. ”Sorry, Khun-hyung, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

He shook his head, forever the caring bigger brother and smiled at the two men in front of me. “Don’t worry, it’s fine. Just get home safely, okay?” Then he shifted his gaze to me, captivating me with a look that suggested a very interesting night.

“I’m sure Woo will kiss it better with the utmost devotion…”

I wiggled my brows and sent him a cocksure smirk, no further word needing to be spoken.

That’s how we had ended up at his place, most of our clothes already gone by the time we stepped into the hallway. As normal and boring as Khun might have looked in broad daylight, he could turn into a beast in the bedroom.

And so could I.

He had me up against the wall without even breaking a sweat, something you wouldn’t expect from a man as lean as him. And still he kept me there without problems, ravishing me with the calculated precision of a deadly snake.

Then again, I was no saint either. I had made a habit of marking him, probably because his words had never really let go of me.

I was in constant fear of losing him to someone else. It might have been an irrational fear, but I couldn’t push it aside no matter how hard I tried. So I had made a decision. I wanted to live each day with him to the fullest, bask in his presence for as long as I could, love him with every fibre of my being for as long as he allowed me to.

But never had I believed how soon things would change.

When I woke up he was still entirely mine, or so I believed.

I kissed him awake, whispering sweet nothings into his cute little ears, wondering how the wedding would be.

He had never promised me a wedding of our own and I was trying not to think so far ahead, but sometimes my mind took me places that made me painfully aware of how short-lived our life together might be.

And yet I was unable to give up on him, on us, on this love that had been my loyal companion for half my life.

I was like a moth that was drawn towards the fire, possibly aware of the painful death that awaits it, and yet so spellbound that it couldn’t care less.

There was no way I would give up on him without a fight. And just like the tiny moth, he would have to burn me to ashes to get rid of me.

He loved me back, there was no doubt about it. I felt it in every breath he took every tiny gesture, every gaze. The only problem was that I wasn’t the right person to give him everything he needed.

But true to my motto I pushed these thoughts aside, sure that the feared reality was still far away.

I got up and walked into the bathroom to take a shower, just turning on the water, as his arms wrapped around my middle and he closed the distance between us.

Had I been aware that this would be our last day together, I would have spent every second getting drunk on his scent, tasting him to my heart’s desire, burning the feeling of his skin so deep into my memory that I would recall it even on my death bed.

But I didn’t, so we showered as usual, washing each other, letting our fingertips linger for longer than necessary and eventually I found myself on my knees, pleasuring him until his legs gave in. He joined me on the shower floor, pulling me so close that it felt like his heart was beating in my chest and vice versa.

“I love you, Nichkhun.”

I had never spoken these words before, not to him or anyone else. At least not with the same meaning they conveyed at this moment. I didn’t expect a reply, honestly, so I was surprised when he spoke.

“I love you, too, Wooyoung. You don’t know how much.”

We didn’t speak for a couple of minutes, but the silence wasn’t awkward, just a comfortable absence of spoken words. But who needs words when your heart says everything that needs to be said?

I knew that he loved me and he knew that I loved him. It was all that mattered in that very moment. This tiny grain of sand in the hourglass of our lives.

 

❇❇❇

 

We arrived at the wedding early, since the grooms needed plenty of help to get ready to walk the aisle.

I was supposed to be with Junho while Khun had offered to help Chan out.

Never in my life had I met two people who weren’t the least bit nervous on their wedding day. They were so full of confidence I was jealous. Happy for them, but a tad bit jealous all the same. I wanted this for myself, preferably with my Plaino.

And my best friends looked stunning. They had always been far too beautiful for their own good, but on this very day it felt as if the sun walked into the room when Junho walked up to me. He was radiant, so full of love and trust.

Chansung was the same. He looked so happy I felt like crying.

And while I acted like a crybaby on a daily basis, I was very secretive about my true emotions around most people.

But when I looked at them, I couldn’t help but shed a few tears of happiness.

For once they didn’t tease me, but simply gathered me in a hug and did what they had always done best. They were there for me. As I had always been there for them.

If I was certain about one thing in my life, it was that these silly asshats I called my best friends would never leave me, come what may.

Once I had settled down again, I pushed them away, smiling like a little boy.

“I love you guys for all the right reasons. You deserve only the best and I’m glad that you found it in each other. Thank you for everything you’ve given me, all the time we spent together, the hilarious and stupid memories we made. I couldn’t have wished for better friends than you two.”

“Hey, you’re not going to propose to both of us now, are you? Because I intend to keep this pretty lady here to myself for all eternity.”

Chan got a glare for that, one that spoke of sleepless nights during which he would have to make up for calling Junho a girl.

“Wait until we arrive on Jeju Island, Chansung. I’ll show you what this pretty lady can do with her pretty lady parts.”

As usual, Chan wasn’t the least bit scared, more like excited. And as usual I rolled my eyes.

“Will you two ever get tired of each other?”

They looked at me simultaneously, faces dead serious.

“We wouldn’t be here if there was the slightest chance for this to ever happen, would we?” Junho replied in a tone as if I had asked the silliest question in existence.

I shook my head, admitting defeat. “I guess not... Will you tell me your secret one day?”

Chan patted my shoulder before he reached for Junho’s hand and entwined their fingers.

“There is no secret. You have to trust each other, learn to love the good sides and bad sides equally and be there for each other. The rest will follow suit. Don’t worry, you’ll be in our spot one day and we will be the ones to ask you the very same question.”

I laughed dryly, too much of a realist to actually believe in his words, but secretly wishing they were true.

“Come on, guys, let’s not talk about me now. This is your big day, so off with you Chan, Khun is already preparing your suit and everything. Let me help your blushing bride. We’ll see you at the altar in a bit. Oh, and Chan, don’t you dare run away now.”

I stared at him like a strict mother, but he smiled and nodded at me.

“I will kick you in the balls one day, Woo…” Junho started to threaten me, but his fiancé decided to save my ass by kissing him softly.

“No, you won’t, my love. And Woo, I could never run away from my life. So don’t worry, I’ll be waiting for you two at the altar.”

He winked at us and left then, his steps full of swing and a huge grin plastered on his face.

“Am I really going to marry that cheesy bastard? “

I glanced at the man to my right, brow raised. “Sadly I’m not the owner of his heart. And you love this cheesiness, Junho, don’t even try to convince me of a different truth.”

He sighed and had a tiny smile playing around the corner of his lips. “Yes fine, I love it very much. And I love him very much.”

“And you’re one lucky bastard, for he loves you just as much. So, promise me one thing, okay? Cherish each other until the day you die. If anyone can stay together for their entire lives, it’s you two.”

Junho punched my shoulder playfully, but his eyes were red and I pulled him into my arms immediately.

Through silent sobs, he confessed something he had never spoken about before. “Sometimes it scares me how much I love him, Woo. When you had your accident, I realised once more how easily your beloved people can be taken away from you. I’m glad both of you are still around, but I’m scared, so scared of losing him forever… I wouldn’t survive without him by my side.”

“Hush Nuneo, please, you don’t know what might happen, of course. you don’t. But you’re by his side now, you’re about to become one in front of the law as well. You're taking the first step towards a family of your own. Don’t worry too much about the future. You might forget to live your life with him over these worries. And you’re still young, you have so many years left to be with Channie. I can’t promise it, but I believe you will grow old together, see your children grow up and have children of their own. And you’ll be the best fathers and grandfathers any child could ever wish for.”

Junho sobbed even harder, but I heard the hint of laughter in his sobs too.

“I’ll be an overprotective mother hen and he might be even worse. But I like the image. Promise me that you’ll be there with us, okay? Promise me that our children will have the best godfather in the world. And playmates, no matter how many you feel like having.”

I nodded and smiled, hoping that the underlying sadness I felt wasn’t showing. I knew that I would have children one day. But not with the one my heart beat for in this very moment.

“Come on, Nuneo, we’re running out of time…”

An hour later I waited at the altar with Chan, watching Junho walk up to us with the most radiant smile I had ever seen on his face.

I didn’t need to look at Chansung to know he had a similar smile on his face, his hands shaking, because he couldn’t wait a second longer to be reunited with the love of his life.

The ceremony was beautiful and while their vows were a testament to their weirdness, they were the loveliest I had ever heard.

These two had really found their perfect match and gave me hope that a love like this was still possible.

As soon as the official part of the wedding was over, we moved to the venue, a beautiful villa on the beach. It had a huge dancefloor under the open sky and many tables in the grand dining room.

When we arrived there, many guests that hadn’t been present at the ceremony were arriving, too. And that was when I first saw them, the two women that would change my life irrevocably.

They were beautiful, both in a very different way. One the classic female beauty, almost too perfect to look at for long. Long black hair, chocolate eyes, pale skin, ruby coloured lips.

The other one, however, was more of a wild child, her features perfectly imperfect, her skin sunkissed, her hair in waves that had the colour of the sea. And her eyes, her beautiful black eyes… They sparkled with mischief and confidence as if she knew about the spell she had put me under.

Both were so different and yet so similar. They were the sirens who would end my life.

I hadn’t been with Khun the entire day, either because he was busy with some preparations or because he was talking to guests and taking care of the newlyweds.

But when I spotted him with Taecyeon and his girlfriend Jia, apparently talking to someone else, I was a little taken aback.

He was hugging her, the woman I had spotted before. They were laughing and it seemed as if they had known each other before.

I considered walking over for a second, but that’s when I saw how my siren was setting up the equipment on the dancefloor. It seemed as if she was the one in charge of the music that night and I felt compelled to offer her my help.

She seemed so caught up with her work that no one dared to approach her, but here I was, walking over to her with sure steps.

She looked up at me when I helped her attach a few cables.

“Hey, need a hand?”

My smile was honest and it seemed like she didn’t deem me a complete imbecile with the equipment, so she nodded and we continued to work in silence. Only asking for a few cables that were out of reach from time to time.

When everything was set up, I sat down at the edge of the dancefloor, staring out at the sea.

It was still late afternoon, we had already cut the cake and went through all the mandatory traditions. The newlyweds were busy accepting all the congratulations and gifts, the rest of my friends apparently occupied with other things, so I took the chance to rest a little before the true party would begin.

Khun hadn’t come looking for me even once. But just when this occurred to me, I felt a presence by my side. I realised who it was only when she spoke to me.

“Hey, mind if I sit with you?”

I shook my head, patting the wood to my left. “You’re free to sit wherever you want.”

She laughed and sat down as well, her eyes watching the waves crash at the shore.

“I’m Jennifer.”

“Wooyoung.”

“You’re not very fond of many words, eh?”

“And neither are you, it seems.”

Another honest laughter which put a tiny smile on my lips, too.

“Nice to meet you, Jennifer who’s not fond of many words.”

“Nice to meet you, too, Wooyoung.”

I dared to glance over at her, wondering how she looked with a smile on her face.

She seemed to have had the same thought, though, because she caught me looking and I averted my gaze in a hurry, scratching my neck in embarrassment.

“Why aren’t you with the rest of the guests, Wooyoung?”

I shrugged, unsure about the reason. “I guess I needed a little time to myself. I love having them around, but sometimes their happiness is hard to handle.”

She nodded silently, eyes back at the sea. “Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s hard to find such happiness. Lucky are those who do... So, you’re their friend?”

“Their best friend ever since we entered school. Junho and Chan are more like brothers to me.”

“They’re a beautiful couple. If they are only half as loving towards you as they are with each other, you’re one lucky guy to have them.”

I smiled to myself, my feet kicking the sand beneath the dancefloor. “Trust me they are. And I’m aware of it... So, I won’t ask the obvious question. You’re the DJane, right? But who brought you here?”

Jennifer chuckled at the strange approach but answered anyway. “It was Minjun. He asked me whether I was free tonight because he wanted only the best for the wedding of his friends… Not sure I’m the best, but here I am.”

“Be more confident. If he is the one who chose you, you are one gifted artist. Minjunnie-hyung only works with those he has the utmost faith in.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

We smiled at each other then, before the voices of my best friends asked us to come in for the four-course-dinner.

She sat with Minjun and his fiancé Fei, but we shared a glance or two during the meal.

Khun was sitting next to me, finally noticing my existence, but I saw how he searched for the other woman’s eyes from time to time.

“How did you like the wedding so far, Khunnie?”

He looked at me for the first time in hours, smiling brightly. “It’s beautiful, I’d love to have one like that, too, one day.” ‘Without me.’ I added in my head.

I had felt the ominous tingle of a storm approaching the entire day. But I didn’t want to believe it. I closed my eyes to the truth that was already right in front of my eyes.

“I want you to meet someone later, okay, baby?”

I nodded and smiled, knowing deep down that it was just another nail to the coffin of our love.

The evening went on, several people, myself included, giving short speeches about the married couple. We laughed about the video their parents and I had made, enjoyed the cake that was shaped like the tree house they had shared their first kiss in and cheered for them as they danced their first dance together.

When the dance floor was opened for everyone, Khun pulled me inside to meet the person he had mentioned earlier.

He motioned towards her with a bright smile when he introduced us.

“Woo, this is Tiffany, an old friend of mine from when I was still living in California. And Tiff, this is Wooyoung, a former schoolmate from here. And my boyfriend.”

I wouldn’t have expected for him to mention the boyfriend part, but I was still very curious about her reaction to the news.

Her face was frozen for the fraction of a second, but then it lightened up as she took a closer look at me. “Nice to meet you, Wooyoung. I hope he treats you well? Khunnie can be a little overbearing in relationships…”

“Nice to meet you, too, Tiffany. I know he can, but he is a darling. It’s hard to get angry at him.”

As much as I wanted my smile to be honest, I couldn’t help it. It felt fake, but I hoped it wasn’t as obvious.

“Pardon my blunt curiosity, but he never mentioned you before. How come you’re here tonight?”

She laughed, hitting Khun casually as if they had never been apart. “Khun and I were together before he came here. And I know Channie from university. We had a work placement together in a child psychologist’s private practice. He invited me.”

I smiled, now more fake than before. Against my will, the pieces of the puzzle put themselves together in my head. They had been lovers. It seemed they didn’t separate willingly either. And she would be able to grant Khun’s biggest wish.

I should have known this was a fight against windmills. But I didn’t want to believe it. I clung to my irrational hopes, believed in the love he claimed to hold for me.

“I’m glad to know he was with such a lovely woman before he met me, Tiffany. And thank you for taking care of my best friend, too.”

She waved it away and it appeared so honest that I couldn’t even despise her the way I should have. Tiffany didn’t pretend to be so nice. She was a kind and gentle woman. Someone who matched so much better with Nichkhun than I did.

And still my heart refused to give up on him. He was mine for the time being and I intended to keep it that way. So I took his hand and excused us before I pulled him on the dancefloor.

We danced for a while, Khun’s mind being elsewhere for the most part. But targeting this topic would only lead to revelations I didn’t want to hear, so I kept quiet and pretended everything was normal.

When I tried to kiss him during a slower dance, he didn’t respond to it, so I settled for pulling him closer, my arms wrapped around him desperately, my face buried in the crook of his neck.

To others, we might have looked like a couple, but I knew his eyes were searching for her most of the time. Eventually, I gave in and let go of him.

“Sorry baby, don't be mad, okay? I’m just tired and Tiff looks a little lost, you know?”

I put on my fake smile, acting as if everything was fine.

"Don't worry, I'm not. You haven't seen her in years, so go ahead and catch up with her."

He pecked my forehead quickly and turned to leave. His eyes seeing right through me all the time.

‘I’m the one you should be worrying about, you asshole. I’m your boyfriend, your eyes should be on me alone…’ I wanted to scream these words at him. But I didn't. I couldn't. So I closed my eyes.

I didn’t want to see how his face glowed with happiness as he approached her and how she looked at him the same way. I didn’t want to be the one left behind.

Instead I drowned my sorrows in alcohol, dancing until my limbs refused to move the way I wanted them to.

I stumbled towards the sea when most of the guests had deserted the dance floor, listening to the calming rhythm of the waves against the sandy shore.

I didn’t hear her approaching until she spoke to me.

“Wooyoung? Are you okay?”

I turned around, staring at the most otherworldly human being I had ever seen. The pale moonlight made her glow, a myth come to life right in front of my eyes.

“I am.”

Her hand was on my arm then, hesitantly, her fingers cold as if she had stepped ashore just a couple of minutes ago.

“Don’t lie to me. I know you’re in pain.”

My eyes were full of grief when I looked at her again. “How come a complete stranger knows my feelings better than the one who claims to love me?”

She pulled me into her arms without a further word, rubbing my back and whispering consolations to me. Her siren song lulled me back into a more peaceful state.

And she gave me the power to make a decision.

As I held her in my embrace, I felt how warm she actually was. No mythical creature, but a living, breathing human being.

“I’ve been through a similar situation, Woo. And it pains me to see you suffer like that. I’m not sure why, but somehow I feel connected to you. So, tell me what I can do to help you.”

I stared at her for endless minutes. I couldn’t ask that of her, could I? But this was the only way.

 

❇❇❇

 

They say that the stuff you do with the girl is the most important part. That the way you tell your friends about it afterwards doesn’t really matter.

For me it was the other way around. The night with Jennifer was amazing, the sex better than I had ever experienced it before. We shared a strange connection, something we didn’t dare put a name on yet.

But it was only a side effect in the grand scheme of my life.

What actually mattered the most was the way I let him know about it, that Nichkhun walked in on us in the middle of the act. He saw it with his own eyes, saw the ugly side of me that he had been denying fervently before.

He had said he would be the one to hurt me one day.

Turns out I was the one hurting him in order to set him free.

I broke the shackles that bound him to me along with his heart. I gave him a way out. I gave him a chance to step out of this relationship as the good guy.

I screamed inwardly: ‘Leave, get away from me before the dark emptiness inside of me devours you as well. Live your life with someone who truly deserves you and who loves you just as much as you love her.’

I smiled confidently at him as I pulled Jennifer closer, maliciously even. Daring him to scream at me and make me feel as if he loved me enough to fight for our love. I watched as whatever doubt he might have had was smashed to pieces. I saw the love die in his eyes.

And all he did was look at me with sadness before he turned around and walked out the door. No word of accusation, no attempt at saving the shattered thing that was our relationship.

I had killed him, I had killed myself and I had killed us with this shot. But it wasn’t a bullet I had used. It was his deeply ingrained fear of hurting the one you love most.

I had used it against him, to burn him, hoping that one day he would rise again from the ashes of our love.

Just like a phoenix.

 


End file.
